One possible model is to view existence as a 3-dimensional space of body, mind and soul. Your AskHN hints at a crisis of the soul. Recognize this. Specifically

One possible model is to view existence as a 3-dimensional space of body, mind and soul. Your AskHN hints at a crisis of the soul. Recognize this. Specifically, this is not a crisis that any sex or drugs or rock'n'roll can address (more than temporarily). Nor is it really an intellectual question, though you've come to an intellectual venue. If philosophy could quench this (all too frequent) thirst, that beverage would have long since arrived. I can only offer you what worked for me, the Gospel. Read it prayerfully and carefully, for its counter-intuitive saga is the meaning of life, and is capable of delivering meaning to you. Best wishes to you in dealing with everything.