So first off please check in with a Doctor, particularly if you’re feeling desperate enough to kill yourself. You can get help for depression. If things are re

So first off please check in with a Doctor, particularly if you’re feeling desperate enough to kill yourself. You can get help for depression. If things are really bleak please reach out to people like: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ You can also try to find a therapist, talking through these feelings with someone who can talk back and get a fuller context could be very helpful. I’m 39. Six weeks ago I had a freak heart attack caused by a blood clot that spontaneously appeared in one of the main arteries of my heart with seemingly no underlying cause. You’d think nearly dying would give you some special insight into life and what to do about it. But it doesn’t. It’s scary, it’s really depressing and it gives you a taste of what your death might eventually be like. I can’t presume to give you life advice but I wanted you to know that other people are out here suffering too. Be kind to yourself, don’t let the experience make you bitter and good luck.