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This is excellent advice. I was 26, living alone in Chicago, and I was having a hard time making friends- let alone getting a date. I signed up to learn French

This is excellent advice. I was 26, living alone in Chicago, and I was having a hard time making friends- let alone getting a date. I signed up to learn French at the Alliance Francaise - and I ended up meeting my wife. We’ve been happily married for 16 years. My assumption from the outside is that Tinder is a hookup site, and that you’re not going to meet anyone worth dating there anyway. I’d suggest volunteering with orgs which look to be supported by young members, business groups targeted towards “young professionals”, etc. I’d look for groups that either have regular members or encourage some kind of repeat involvement, so that you have time to meet people and make friends naturally. Lastly, I think it’s important to join such groups with the intent on having fun. I wish you all the best. I promise you that there are others out there who are also trying to make friends and find someone special.

meheleventyone 5y ago
Just as a counter point to hookups are bad I met my wife by randomly hooking up with her at a bar. Just because people are interested in finding people to have sex with doesn’t reduce their worth.
- cartoonworld 5y ago
  Hi & congrats! What you say is very true, but I would like to point out that you were following my advice. Bars are a classic social gathering and definitely work too. Bar activities include casual conversations, billiards, dart games, magic tricks (there are scads of tricks with cups and drinks) dancing, etc Personally I avoid bars, but it is indeed fine when approached with appropriate caution (as would be rock climbing gyms, for example, which are a stellar choice btw)
  - meheleventyone 5y ago
    Sorry you misunderstand. This is much closer to hooking up with someone from Tinder which is why I drew the comparison. We left together about fifteen minutes after meeting one another. It’s also ironic that I’ve climbed a lot and never found anyone to date let alone that I get on with as well.
    - cartoonworld 5y ago
      I strongly disagree that bar hookups are the same as Tinder because you can achieve hookups quickly. I question if you have used tinder recently. In bar scenarios, you are both moving around and maybe a bit uninbibited, exhibiting relaxed body language, talking and engaging in some courtship behaviors. You can see how people interact in the real world. Swiping left or right as you contemlate the causes of hemorrhoids is so far divorced from this normal behavior, and there is no bar algorithm beseeching you to "super like" a curated, mostly fake dating profile chosen not for your future engagement ring, but as a sales tactic to drive "engagement". Buying someone a drink is only superficially similar to internet (paid) likes. It isn't impossible for it to work fine, but Tinder sucks for society.

meheleventyone 5y ago

Just as a counter point to hookups are bad I met my wife by randomly hooking up with her at a bar. Just because people are interested in finding people to have sex with doesn’t reduce their worth.

cartoonworld 5y ago
Hi & congrats! What you say is very true, but I would like to point out that you were following my advice. Bars are a classic social gathering and definitely work too. Bar activities include casual conversations, billiards, dart games, magic tricks (there are scads of tricks with cups and drinks) dancing, etc Personally I avoid bars, but it is indeed fine when approached with appropriate caution (as would be rock climbing gyms, for example, which are a stellar choice btw)
- meheleventyone 5y ago
  Sorry you misunderstand. This is much closer to hooking up with someone from Tinder which is why I drew the comparison. We left together about fifteen minutes after meeting one another. It’s also ironic that I’ve climbed a lot and never found anyone to date let alone that I get on with as well.
  - cartoonworld 5y ago
    I strongly disagree that bar hookups are the same as Tinder because you can achieve hookups quickly. I question if you have used tinder recently. In bar scenarios, you are both moving around and maybe a bit uninbibited, exhibiting relaxed body language, talking and engaging in some courtship behaviors. You can see how people interact in the real world. Swiping left or right as you contemlate the causes of hemorrhoids is so far divorced from this normal behavior, and there is no bar algorithm beseeching you to "super like" a curated, mostly fake dating profile chosen not for your future engagement ring, but as a sales tactic to drive "engagement". Buying someone a drink is only superficially similar to internet (paid) likes. It isn't impossible for it to work fine, but Tinder sucks for society.