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I'm 25 and struggling with a lot of the same feelings. These are some things that I've done that have helped to keep me away from the edge of the cliff. Drop m
by norvvryo 5y ago
I'm 25 and struggling with a lot of the same feelings. These are some things that I've done that have helped to keep me away from the edge of the cliff.
Drop mainstream social media and online dating completely. If you haven't been socially focused for a decade, comparing yourself to people who have is going to destroy you inside. The same goes for porn. Stick to drawings, and avoid anything that has a romantic plot. Focusing on an idealized version of what you're missing out on is only going to hurt you right now.
Find a public area where there are a lot of people out with no specific purpose, like a park. Go out and talk to strangers. This will probably feel uncomfortable at first, but you will get used to it. Old men are typically the easiest people to start a conversation with. They're less likely to feel threatened by you and more likely to be lonely. You can start off with a basic personal question like "do you have any hobbies?" If they seem irritated or uncomfortable, just thank them for their time and move on to the next person. If you set any goals for your outings, make them ones you can reasonably guarantee. Think "I'm going to talk to two strangers today," not "I'm going to make a friend today."
If there are any local group activities that you're even remotely interested in, give them a shot. Being part of a like-minded group feels fantastic and offers a lot of opportunity for building relationships.
- deleted 5y ago[deleted]
- freedomben 5y agoTalking to strangers is really good advice and a great way to improve social skills but also happiness. Talking to old men is also great advice! I have met some really interesting old men that I ended up really enjoying talking to even though I would never have thought I would. With strangers you have a lot less risk because if you do/say something embarrassing it's easier to forget than if you do that with a coworker. People often tend to be nicer to strangers than they are their friends and family. Strangers will cut you a lot of slack. You may also find that as you get to know "strangers" you may find meaningful and fulfilling relationships. I wouldn't recommend it with an outcome like this in mind because that's unlikely, but I know a person who met a long-term girlfriend by striking up a polite conversation with her mother on a bus. A similar thing also happened to a friend of mine with a stranger who had a sister that he later was introduced to. Definitely get out to a park or a bar or something and talk to a few strangers.