4 ms·

There is a lot of toxicity here and I think this is a good example of part of the problem. We have been injecting pc tolerance everywhere with little to no focu

There is a lot of toxicity here and I think this is a good example of part of the problem. We have been injecting pc tolerance everywhere with little to no focus on men. Why can't I wear feminine esk clothing like a thumb ring. Men are unable to express themselves with dress or emotionally without being considered unattractive..

sodality2 5y ago
OP did not say anything negative about dressing femininely. OP said "sincerely evaluate your style of dress".
- meheleventyone 5y ago
  The advice does play into classic masculine stereotypes though. Almost like a movie trope where the hopeless nerd finds out he really was a cool jock the entire time. Throw away your nerdy shit, get ripped in the gym, learn martial arts and dress well. All that’s fine if that’s what you want but I don’t think it’s particularly aspirational for everyone. Even if elements like regular exercise and broadened activities are pretty universal good advice. It’s also of it’s time and reading this feels like a lot of the advice givers are quite a bit older. The generation in their early twenties have different social mores and aspirations. And hard as it may be to learn even ripped dudes that are snappy dressers can be depressed and can feel stuck in life.
  - KronisLV 5y ago
    Agreed. I guess better advice in regards to clothing would be to find something that fits you and that you feel good in. Masculine, feminine or something between, looking into the mirror and seeing clothes that look good is sure to be a small ego boost and other people might also treat you better in some subtle ways (basically the halo effect). As for exercise, not everyone needs to get "ripped", but some exercise is likely to benefit everyone - from better cardiovascular health, to just feeling like you have more energy, as well as getting to a more healthy weight. Admittedly, that's why I've been jogging 3km every day for the last month in addition to strength training, and while I felt horrible the first week, things are better now. Some of the other advice ends up being a tad too drastic, though. Stopping doing science/maths probably isn't good idea - maybe just slightly decrease the amount of time you spend on them instead? The amount of time spent gaming should also be controlled, but quitting "cold turkey" could be harmful. For some people it's a way to cope with bad situations or socialize - take away that escapism and you'll be left dealing with all of the other bad aspects of life with no outlet. Martial arts and joining social groups all seem like good idea, but for the more introverted folks it might actually make them feel worse. Maybe try going to a few meetups at first instead? As for Tinder and social media - those might lead to you comparing yourself to others too much, which often isn't entirely healthy. Also, dating apps in general don't work for many guys due to societal factors.
    - belorn 5y ago
      In terms of exercise, the I would strongly argue that the best advice is to test and explore new hobbies until something is enjoyable enough that they want to continue with it just for the fun of it. Going to the gym if you have every minute of it is not going to improve your health, but doing something physically that one enjoy brings many benefits. A big upside about hobbies, especially if one focus a lot on it, is that one is likely to meet others who is enthusiastic in the same thing.
  - verylittlemeat 5y ago
    OP is suggesting a starting place for people who feel unmoored. It's an anecdote giving him a formula to try on for size. The kind of person who has strong feelings about their sense of style (for example dressing more feminine) already has achieved a kind of center or "normal" for their personality that the person who posted this lacks.
    - deleted 5y ago
      [deleted]
- spidersouris 5y ago
  > feminine-milquetoast Doesn't seem negative to you? And what's exactly dressing "femininely" or "masculinely"? That's rubbish.
  - the_only_law 5y ago
    The funny part is neither GP nor the other green accounts invested in defending the point don’t actually expand on what that means. Come on man, if you’re going say something like that under the guise of advice it’s probably best to spell it out.

sodality2 5y ago

OP did not say anything negative about dressing femininely. OP said "sincerely evaluate your style of dress".

meheleventyone 5y ago
The advice does play into classic masculine stereotypes though. Almost like a movie trope where the hopeless nerd finds out he really was a cool jock the entire time. Throw away your nerdy shit, get ripped in the gym, learn martial arts and dress well. All that’s fine if that’s what you want but I don’t think it’s particularly aspirational for everyone. Even if elements like regular exercise and broadened activities are pretty universal good advice. It’s also of it’s time and reading this feels like a lot of the advice givers are quite a bit older. The generation in their early twenties have different social mores and aspirations. And hard as it may be to learn even ripped dudes that are snappy dressers can be depressed and can feel stuck in life.
- KronisLV 5y ago
  Agreed. I guess better advice in regards to clothing would be to find something that fits you and that you feel good in. Masculine, feminine or something between, looking into the mirror and seeing clothes that look good is sure to be a small ego boost and other people might also treat you better in some subtle ways (basically the halo effect). As for exercise, not everyone needs to get "ripped", but some exercise is likely to benefit everyone - from better cardiovascular health, to just feeling like you have more energy, as well as getting to a more healthy weight. Admittedly, that's why I've been jogging 3km every day for the last month in addition to strength training, and while I felt horrible the first week, things are better now. Some of the other advice ends up being a tad too drastic, though. Stopping doing science/maths probably isn't good idea - maybe just slightly decrease the amount of time you spend on them instead? The amount of time spent gaming should also be controlled, but quitting "cold turkey" could be harmful. For some people it's a way to cope with bad situations or socialize - take away that escapism and you'll be left dealing with all of the other bad aspects of life with no outlet. Martial arts and joining social groups all seem like good idea, but for the more introverted folks it might actually make them feel worse. Maybe try going to a few meetups at first instead? As for Tinder and social media - those might lead to you comparing yourself to others too much, which often isn't entirely healthy. Also, dating apps in general don't work for many guys due to societal factors.
  - belorn 5y ago
    In terms of exercise, the I would strongly argue that the best advice is to test and explore new hobbies until something is enjoyable enough that they want to continue with it just for the fun of it. Going to the gym if you have every minute of it is not going to improve your health, but doing something physically that one enjoy brings many benefits. A big upside about hobbies, especially if one focus a lot on it, is that one is likely to meet others who is enthusiastic in the same thing.
- verylittlemeat 5y ago
  OP is suggesting a starting place for people who feel unmoored. It's an anecdote giving him a formula to try on for size. The kind of person who has strong feelings about their sense of style (for example dressing more feminine) already has achieved a kind of center or "normal" for their personality that the person who posted this lacks.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
spidersouris 5y ago
> feminine-milquetoast Doesn't seem negative to you? And what's exactly dressing "femininely" or "masculinely"? That's rubbish.
- the_only_law 5y ago
  The funny part is neither GP nor the other green accounts invested in defending the point don’t actually expand on what that means. Come on man, if you’re going say something like that under the guise of advice it’s probably best to spell it out.