Tinder is not for most people. You're competing against the top 5% (in looks) who have photos of themselves shirtless on a yacht party or something. I lived in

Tinder is not for most people. You're competing against the top 5% (in looks) who have photos of themselves shirtless on a yacht party or something. I lived in suburban NJ and got zero matches. When I moved to a young friendly and population dense city in Europe, and upgraded my photos, I started getting more matches. So there's that. Also even if you do get matches, only like 20% even respond to messages and only half of those turn into a first date. Ask me how I know. I pretty much had no close friends or self confidence up until age 25, when I started working. It was a pretty dead end job but I focused on being good at it and upped my social skills in the process. Before then, I spent most of my time alone and wishing people would notice my 'excellent qualities' (they didn't). I learned that people (including myself) really only care about how they themselves feel, so if you can make people laugh or feel good, they will want to be around you. Oh as for the recommendation to lift weights - I second it. You don't have to join a gym though - a pull-up bar, kettlebell, jump rope, will go a long way, and don't take up much space. I'm 35 now. After working for 9 years I am on a long sabbatical and feeling a bit lost again. The difference now is I now have a few close friends and therefore not lonely anymore. I still have social anxiety but it's much better now.