You might be serious, so... This is self-defeating. It only works if you have huge numbers of customers, and you'd lose all of them the moment you made the chan

You might be serious, so... This is self-defeating. It only works if you have huge numbers of customers, and you'd lose all of them the moment you made the change. Also, this is the business model of so-called "stressor" services. DDOS as a service.