4 ms·

I'm one of these. I'm an allrounder software dev in his late fourties, "lured" into a non-software middle management position by the promise of money and stabil

by ud_0 5y ago

I'm one of these. I'm an allrounder software dev in his late fourties, "lured" into a non-software middle management position by the promise of money and stability a few years ago. In practice, the money has never materialized because our sector took a big hit and much of that promise was tied to incentives based on the company's success. I can't really blame anyone for this, but that's strike one as far as job satisfaction goes. Second strike, I love writing code, and I don't get to do that a lot anymore. I'm listing these "pre-existing conditions" because I believe it's common for us quitters to have other areas of dissatisfaction that hadn't been enough to drive us over the edge by themselves. Third strike, while my company does not support WFH after Covid, I did get to experience at least a partial WFH program, and it was absolutely wonderful. There's a problem though: I would absolutely like to continue working from home, but I also want to work on my own projects, on my own terms, on my own schedule. A traditional full time job is not compatible with that. So I put in my notice for the end of this year, to allow current company projects to come to a conclusion and/or hand them off. I want to stress that for a man in my age group, with no significant savings or other safety net, this is extremely scary. It's just that this Angst is outweighed by the thought of staying on the treadmill hoping for an eventual reward that may never come and seeing the little time I have left drain away.

deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
nobodyandproud 5y ago
I’m in a similar boat where upper-management is completely out of touch. For us WFH is an option because it boosts productivity: People often end up working later. Leading a high-performance team, I should be able to do team-wide things as a reward to boost morale and combat burn out. Yet here I am, seriously contemplating leaving.
lowercased 5y ago
"...for a man in my age group, with no significant savings or other safety net, this is extremely scary" I'm sorry you are in this situation. I applaud your self-awareness, and suspect you have enough skills and discipline to turn this around in the next few years. You may never get to the point of having millions tucked away for retirement, but do hope you can get to a point where you do have 'significant savings'. I'd measure that by your measure of 'extremely scary'. My wife and I have no kids, so 'saving' has been somewhat easier 'by default' than some of our peers. That said, it's not automatic, and I know plenty of folks who are high earners who will manage to spend it all without 'significant savings' to speak of.
- ud_0 5y ago
  Thank you! Don't have too much pity though, I'm doing okay. I live in the EU, no spouse, no kids, no commitments really. Not planning ahead is 100% my fault, but it's not an existential problem (yet). It's just time to finally stop spending everything as it comes in. It's kind of obnoxious to even admit this, but I always assumed I'd be a successful person at some point down the line. This was of course utterly ridiculous and led to some really bad decisions. It was exploitable by other people, too. My work made a few people rich, and while I was always compensated for my time, I never got a proportional cut from the outcomes. But it wasn't a bad life, and there is still some fuel in the tank :)
  - lowercased 5y ago
    Oh... EU... your 'social safety net' is ... stronger than ours in the US. I am nervous/scared about the future, and I have about 3-4 years of expenses in savings (not counting investments and retirement accounts). But I'm still somewhat 'nervous/scared'.
    - saiya-jin 5y ago
      There is no single EU when it comes to topics like these, some parts are much better than others. But no place will ever save you from really bad financial mistakes or tons of small ones. But you won't ever starve or have no place to sleep and your health will generally be taken care of, albeit not always in best way possible (ie dental care).
      - lowercased 5y ago
        > But you won't ever starve or have no place to sleep and your health will generally be taken care of Which are things I concerned myself with early on. I probably won't ever have to be homeless, but... health stuff - knowing that if I stop paying for 'insurance', regardless of how much I've paid in over... decades... I'll be denied things - that's still troubling.

by ud_0 5y ago

deleted 5y ago

[deleted]

nobodyandproud 5y ago

I’m in a similar boat where upper-management is completely out of touch. For us WFH is an option because it boosts productivity: People often end up working later. Leading a high-performance team, I should be able to do team-wide things as a reward to boost morale and combat burn out. Yet here I am, seriously contemplating leaving.

lowercased 5y ago

"...for a man in my age group, with no significant savings or other safety net, this is extremely scary" I'm sorry you are in this situation. I applaud your self-awareness, and suspect you have enough skills and discipline to turn this around in the next few years. You may never get to the point of having millions tucked away for retirement, but do hope you can get to a point where you do have 'significant savings'. I'd measure that by your measure of 'extremely scary'. My wife and I have no kids, so 'saving' has been somewhat easier 'by default' than some of our peers. That said, it's not automatic, and I know plenty of folks who are high earners who will manage to spend it all without 'significant savings' to speak of.

ud_0 5y ago
Thank you! Don't have too much pity though, I'm doing okay. I live in the EU, no spouse, no kids, no commitments really. Not planning ahead is 100% my fault, but it's not an existential problem (yet). It's just time to finally stop spending everything as it comes in. It's kind of obnoxious to even admit this, but I always assumed I'd be a successful person at some point down the line. This was of course utterly ridiculous and led to some really bad decisions. It was exploitable by other people, too. My work made a few people rich, and while I was always compensated for my time, I never got a proportional cut from the outcomes. But it wasn't a bad life, and there is still some fuel in the tank :)
- lowercased 5y ago
  Oh... EU... your 'social safety net' is ... stronger than ours in the US. I am nervous/scared about the future, and I have about 3-4 years of expenses in savings (not counting investments and retirement accounts). But I'm still somewhat 'nervous/scared'.
  - saiya-jin 5y ago
    There is no single EU when it comes to topics like these, some parts are much better than others. But no place will ever save you from really bad financial mistakes or tons of small ones. But you won't ever starve or have no place to sleep and your health will generally be taken care of, albeit not always in best way possible (ie dental care).
    - lowercased 5y ago
      > But you won't ever starve or have no place to sleep and your health will generally be taken care of Which are things I concerned myself with early on. I probably won't ever have to be homeless, but... health stuff - knowing that if I stop paying for 'insurance', regardless of how much I've paid in over... decades... I'll be denied things - that's still troubling.