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In fact, this is what they mean when they say it's almost impossible to know who the real sociopaths are. The true ones are so charismatic and good at manipulat

In fact, this is what they mean when they say it's almost impossible to know who the real sociopaths are. The true ones are so charismatic and good at manipulation that, unless you are extraordinarily close to them or get on their bad side, they just seem like the sort of person that everyone likes. Interestingly, a minority of people seem to be somewhat able to see through the facade. I have ADHD and a brother who's very nearly on the autism spectrum, and both of those conditions seem correlated with this ability to have an unbiased sense of a person. Perhaps it's due to the way we are slightly detached from normal social interactions, or the highly analytical way our brains function. All I know is that there are definitely times I feel this. For instance, if you look online, there are tons of relatively recent videos that have special forces types (SEALS, rangers, etc.) commenting on movie scenes or so on. The comments are always full of people talking about how they seem like such a great person, or how funny/charming/positive/etc. this person is. Meanwhile, I just come away with this feeling of being very deeply unsettled by them almost every time. Everything about their demeanor unsettles me. Now I'm in no way saying every special forces operator is a closet sociopath. But the job does attract a certain personality type, and many of the ones on these videos are the most charismatic of the whole bunch. Back on topic, John always seemed to be to be a pretty typical narcissist to me. He did some stuff that I found to be funny in kind of a black humor sense (that video of him supposedly telling you how to uninstall McAfee antivirus), but the idea that he was a truly positive person I just totally don't see. I mean, think about it -- the OP's story involves John having the guy call his wife and tell him how great he thought John was and how great his ideas were. That's pretty typical narcissistic behavior.

bserge 5y ago
It's a slippery slope tbh, you can end up suspicious of everyone, thinking everyone nice is actually a sociopath, when in fact there's nothing sinister under the surface. Not to mention that people on the spectrum who are trying hard to show emotions appropriate to a situation end up seeming just as unsettling.
belter 5y ago
Always though ADHD was not about being able to have unbiased sense of a person. Instead much more about the inability to interact and be perceptive about the world and persons around you.
- pengstrom 5y ago
  Might be true, but it's complicated by mental illness being defined in terms of ability to participate in society. This includes various deeply irrational behaviours.
- treeman79 5y ago
  Hyper focus is a benefit of ADHD. It just has to be interesting. I couldn’t read people in teens. In 20s I decided to change that. Would stare intently at a person face and watch every muscle movement, tone, etc. read some books on body language. Was absurdly exhausting for me. But I got very good at reading people. Eventually it went from intense analytical analysis to just “normal” paying attention.
NoOneNew 5y ago
I have to disagree about your veteran assessment. Almost a decade ago I accidentally got into the security integration industry (security cameras, gates and the software that runs all of it). That field attracts a lot of veterans, especially the higher echelon guys. I've got to know plenty of folks from the enlisted and up to a full bird. The thing with anyone from one of those specialty combat mission backgrounds, they're typically extremely grounded people. As in, do you remember being a teen or young adult before getting into a career field? You had all these folks blowing smoke up your ass about how great something is in that field. The whole unicorn, sunshine and rainbows about a job field. Then you always had one dude who was, "nah, that's like 10% of the job. 90% of the time it's like this." When you're young, you think the person with actual experience, the salty guy, is a party pooper jackass. When you're older, you realize that guy was leveling your expectations, warning you of pitfalls and trying to make you look out for the good and how to cherish it. Combat vets are kind of the same way. There's a good chance any moral or ethical theory people armchair postulate about when it comes to society... they saw the extremes actually played out in real life with consequences. Those that readjusted back to civvy life well have the best attitude towards life. They try living life to the fullest because, again, they've seen first hand how short and fragile life is. They dont sugarcoat it either, which I think is what a majority of people find so jarring. The amount of sugarcoating in general society is amazing when you see the contrast. The charisma they exude isnt really the sociopath, snakeoil salesman kind. It's far more worldly and more honest, mixed with zero fucks given what you think of them. That sugarless honesty is what most people, especially these days, are attracted to. But then it can come off as crazy because of how much it contrasts with "normal" bullshit. They're the most egalitarian and welcoming "demographics" I've ever met. On a whole, the tech industry is full of far more actual sociopathic and narcissistic assholes.
- Talanes 5y ago
  "Former Special Forces capitalizing on it to garner a Youtube following" is a very small and specific subset of Veteran. The GP post wasn't making a generalized statement about combat vets. GP was even very careful to concede that the traits they think they've observed aren't necessarily a strong proportion of that specific niche.

bserge 5y ago

It's a slippery slope tbh, you can end up suspicious of everyone, thinking everyone nice is actually a sociopath, when in fact there's nothing sinister under the surface. Not to mention that people on the spectrum who are trying hard to show emotions appropriate to a situation end up seeming just as unsettling.

belter 5y ago

Always though ADHD was not about being able to have unbiased sense of a person. Instead much more about the inability to interact and be perceptive about the world and persons around you.

pengstrom 5y ago
Might be true, but it's complicated by mental illness being defined in terms of ability to participate in society. This includes various deeply irrational behaviours.
treeman79 5y ago
Hyper focus is a benefit of ADHD. It just has to be interesting. I couldn’t read people in teens. In 20s I decided to change that. Would stare intently at a person face and watch every muscle movement, tone, etc. read some books on body language. Was absurdly exhausting for me. But I got very good at reading people. Eventually it went from intense analytical analysis to just “normal” paying attention.

NoOneNew 5y ago

I have to disagree about your veteran assessment. Almost a decade ago I accidentally got into the security integration industry (security cameras, gates and the software that runs all of it). That field attracts a lot of veterans, especially the higher echelon guys. I've got to know plenty of folks from the enlisted and up to a full bird. The thing with anyone from one of those specialty combat mission backgrounds, they're typically extremely grounded people. As in, do you remember being a teen or young adult before getting into a career field? You had all these folks blowing smoke up your ass about how great something is in that field. The whole unicorn, sunshine and rainbows about a job field. Then you always had one dude who was, "nah, that's like 10% of the job. 90% of the time it's like this." When you're young, you think the person with actual experience, the salty guy, is a party pooper jackass. When you're older, you realize that guy was leveling your expectations, warning you of pitfalls and trying to make you look out for the good and how to cherish it. Combat vets are kind of the same way. There's a good chance any moral or ethical theory people armchair postulate about when it comes to society... they saw the extremes actually played out in real life with consequences. Those that readjusted back to civvy life well have the best attitude towards life. They try living life to the fullest because, again, they've seen first hand how short and fragile life is. They dont sugarcoat it either, which I think is what a majority of people find so jarring. The amount of sugarcoating in general society is amazing when you see the contrast. The charisma they exude isnt really the sociopath, snakeoil salesman kind. It's far more worldly and more honest, mixed with zero fucks given what you think of them. That sugarless honesty is what most people, especially these days, are attracted to. But then it can come off as crazy because of how much it contrasts with "normal" bullshit. They're the most egalitarian and welcoming "demographics" I've ever met. On a whole, the tech industry is full of far more actual sociopathic and narcissistic assholes.

Talanes 5y ago
"Former Special Forces capitalizing on it to garner a Youtube following" is a very small and specific subset of Veteran. The GP post wasn't making a generalized statement about combat vets. GP was even very careful to concede that the traits they think they've observed aren't necessarily a strong proportion of that specific niche.