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I see it being compared to demanding people call you "King Robert (the Beloved) III, the Resplendent." Is it disrespectful not to meet their demands because it
by DangitBobby 5y ago
I see it being compared to demanding people call you "King Robert (the Beloved) III, the Resplendent." Is it disrespectful not to meet their demands because it makes you feel silly? At what point are you allowed to say that they require excessive external effort to help them maintain their identity?
- GavinMcG 5y agoWell, not at the point where you say "she" instead of "he". The fact that you can come up with a ridiculous example doesn't mean the actual request is ridiculous.
- DangitBobby 5y agoI don't think that she, he, or they are ridiculous. I personally have never been instructed on someone's pronouns before so I have no real life example of something that I would find ridiculous. But it's not difficult for me to imagine a set of pronouns that I would not enjoy using, and would probably avoid interactions with someone who insisted that I use them.
- GavinMcG 5y agoSo you're making an argument against the concept of respecting someone's requested pronouns, because it's "not difficult for you to imagine" a situation where you would "feel silly" even though you've never even encountered someone who asked you to use even non-silly pronouns. Great contribution. The sad thing is that while this is only a conversation on the internet, there are people out there passing laws affecting actual humans with the same amount of actual exposure to those humans and based entirely on their own imagined discomfort.
- DangitBobby 5y agoOkay. I can tell you feel your logical position is much stronger than it actually is. We need not live through things to form opinions, and since I've never had to deny anyone's pronoun request I'm not really sure what you think you're defending against. Maybe explain how you think my opinion wrong instead of huffing and puffing about hypotheticals being evil. I don't feel the shame you've tried to direct my way. Maybe some second hand embarrassment for what I'm reading. Great contribution.
- beerandt 5y agoTheir are plenty non ridiculous examples, but no clear place to draw the line. What if I asked to be addressed as "Sir"? Would it matter if I were nobility, or a nobody just trying to assert dominance? Or if you hated me and thought I was the opposite of a gentleman? But what if I thought of myself as a perfect gentlemen? Are you bound by my self perception? Ridiculous is a relative term. If I think a request is ridiculous, am I free to ignore it?
- KittenInABox 5y agoI mean I know plenty of people who want to be called ridiculous things, on the internet for example I'm talking to someone who apparently is called DangitBobby. And I'm KittenInABox. I'd be super weirded out if someone demanded that my name is too ridiculous and they'll call me Susan instead on the internet because its their free speech rights.
- DangitBobby 5y agoIn the context of the internet it wouldn't be silly at all for us to call each other those things! But the internet is also sort of a wild west of etiquette so all bets are off.