I felt the same way too until I realized why. The words you use are used to signal what group you belong to, it is a type of tribal identification. Certain word

I felt the same way too until I realized why. The words you use are used to signal what group you belong to, it is a type of tribal identification. Certain words in the English lexicon are associated with racism and racists and so by using them people believe it signals membership in a particular tribe. The next step is simply that one tribal group will attempt to target anyone who uses certain words for punishment not because of the word itself but because you indicate you are part of a different tribe and therefore must be punished. Ultimately it is an abandonment of the principle of governance by law and instead replaces society with a system of tribal warfare.