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> a downward spiral > I have high and low phases > I have been anxious/ depressed for around a decade > There are phases where I work with high motivation bu

> a downward spiral > I have high and low phases > I have been anxious/ depressed for around a decade > There are phases where I work with high motivation but it fades easily I have bipolar disorder so the above sentences caught my attention. The thing about bipolar is that it is hard to diagnose. I wasted 10's of thousands of dollars on in appropriate therapies like SSRI's and Ativan and just general talk therapy. The low phases often masquerade as anxiety depression and the high phases can look like borderline personality disorder or even schizophrenia. Also, drug and alcohol abuse can make it impossible to get a correct diagnosis. I got my life back and became productive once I was properly diagnosed and given a med that worked for me (Quetiapine) I also quit alcohol and drugs (except moderate amount of coffee) I recommend seeing a psychiatrist and relating your moods and activities honestly and completely and see if bipolar rings true.

dandigangi 5y ago
Same here. This instant I saw that I thought BP. Have it also. Sounds like we've gone through some similar experience of pulling out of a spiral. My therapist told me I should back off on caffeine but I don't want to. Haha
- okareaman 5y ago
  I've learned to recognize when I am manic so I cut out the coffee and take extra meds. I'm usually balanced out again after a good night's sleep. I can't drink energy drinks without getting manic. My mania is useful for coming up with ideas and getting stuff done. Like Greta Thunburg and her autism, my mania is my superpower. However, I'm scared to death of having suicidal depression again. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.
wayoutthere 5y ago
Yeah, same. One of the hallmarks of bipolar is that the person is largely oblivious to its existence. And I find it interesting we had the same reaction re: alcohol and drugs. For me, during the low periods I become apathetic and overall have very little energy. My mood is actually pretty consistent now that I’m medicated (lamotrigine). My high phases are more hypomanic which is actually super productive if I can manage the anxiety that usually accompanies it.
- okareaman 5y ago
  Interesting. I associate anxiety with depression. The downside of my mania is the inability to sleep, which is how the Quetiapine helps
  - wayoutthere 5y ago
    Anxiety for me is basically an excess of energy. And I take Trazodone for the sleep, but in my manic phases I generally can’t sleep for more than 6 hours. At this point, my energy levels are a better indicator of where I am in my cycle than my mood. The drugs generally even that out.
jmcgough 5y ago
This was my experience too. Tried countless antidepressants starting in middle school. SSRIs/SNRIs never really worked, as an adult they would actually trigger manic episodes (which I misinterpreted as fixing my depression because I was productive and felt great). I had a manic episode after a vacation (turns out that messing up your sleep schedule from jet lag can trigger them) and finally decided to get help. Lamictal was a night and day difference for me. Wish I'd figured it out sooner but it's hard to recognize when you mostly just see the anxiety and depression.
- okareaman 5y ago
  I'm sorry. What you describe is all too real. The first psychiatrist to diagnose me bipolar prescribed an SSRI which sent me into a manic phase that destroyed my marriage. Get a second opinion if possible.
igetspam 5y ago
As someone who has struggled with a lot of emotional/mental stuff, I read these things and get angry. Not angry at you or what you're saying, angry at the state of mental health right now. My wife had been struggling with things due to chronic sever pain. She has been trying for two years to find someone to actually talk to and it's nearly impossible. The insurance has a list and if you go down the list it's a combination of retired, no new patients, child psychology only, OBGYN (wat??) and one star reviews for the one or two people that will talk to her. After one session, it's pretty obvious why they're rated so low. Finding qualified mental health care is so difficult, it's amazing people make it through. Our only option is paying out of pocket but with the constant medical bills we already have (chronic painz physical therapy that's gone past the hard limit on session, etc), we don't really have a lot to spare.

dandigangi 5y ago

Same here. This instant I saw that I thought BP. Have it also. Sounds like we've gone through some similar experience of pulling out of a spiral. My therapist told me I should back off on caffeine but I don't want to. Haha

okareaman 5y ago
I've learned to recognize when I am manic so I cut out the coffee and take extra meds. I'm usually balanced out again after a good night's sleep. I can't drink energy drinks without getting manic. My mania is useful for coming up with ideas and getting stuff done. Like Greta Thunburg and her autism, my mania is my superpower. However, I'm scared to death of having suicidal depression again. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

wayoutthere 5y ago

Yeah, same. One of the hallmarks of bipolar is that the person is largely oblivious to its existence. And I find it interesting we had the same reaction re: alcohol and drugs. For me, during the low periods I become apathetic and overall have very little energy. My mood is actually pretty consistent now that I’m medicated (lamotrigine). My high phases are more hypomanic which is actually super productive if I can manage the anxiety that usually accompanies it.

okareaman 5y ago
Interesting. I associate anxiety with depression. The downside of my mania is the inability to sleep, which is how the Quetiapine helps
- wayoutthere 5y ago
  Anxiety for me is basically an excess of energy. And I take Trazodone for the sleep, but in my manic phases I generally can’t sleep for more than 6 hours. At this point, my energy levels are a better indicator of where I am in my cycle than my mood. The drugs generally even that out.

jmcgough 5y ago

This was my experience too. Tried countless antidepressants starting in middle school. SSRIs/SNRIs never really worked, as an adult they would actually trigger manic episodes (which I misinterpreted as fixing my depression because I was productive and felt great). I had a manic episode after a vacation (turns out that messing up your sleep schedule from jet lag can trigger them) and finally decided to get help. Lamictal was a night and day difference for me. Wish I'd figured it out sooner but it's hard to recognize when you mostly just see the anxiety and depression.

okareaman 5y ago
I'm sorry. What you describe is all too real. The first psychiatrist to diagnose me bipolar prescribed an SSRI which sent me into a manic phase that destroyed my marriage. Get a second opinion if possible.

igetspam 5y ago

As someone who has struggled with a lot of emotional/mental stuff, I read these things and get angry. Not angry at you or what you're saying, angry at the state of mental health right now. My wife had been struggling with things due to chronic sever pain. She has been trying for two years to find someone to actually talk to and it's nearly impossible. The insurance has a list and if you go down the list it's a combination of retired, no new patients, child psychology only, OBGYN (wat??) and one star reviews for the one or two people that will talk to her. After one session, it's pretty obvious why they're rated so low. Finding qualified mental health care is so difficult, it's amazing people make it through. Our only option is paying out of pocket but with the constant medical bills we already have (chronic painz physical therapy that's gone past the hard limit on session, etc), we don't really have a lot to spare.