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Your experience matches mine, apart from that I find that if I'm procrastinating on important/severe enough things, then my ability to do even things I enjoy di

by tailspin2019 5y ago

Your experience matches mine, apart from that I find that if I'm procrastinating on important/severe enough things, then my ability to do even things I enjoy diminishes too. Personally I think the reason is that the cognitive dissonance gets in the way... I know that I absolutely should urgently do X (important thing I'm putting off) and all the time I don't, I cannot reconcile a deliberate decision to do Y (trivial thing I'd really enjoy). So with the inability to do either X or Y, I just end up being fully stuck and in total deadlock. Most of the time this situation is preceded by many days, weeks or months of me DOING all those things I enjoy while blissfully neglecting the things I should be doing. It's the end result of this behaviour that eventually leads to the deadlock.

meowface 5y ago
Actually, yeah, I relate to that 100%, too. (Even doing it right this second.) I just spend a lot more of my time in the neglect phase than the "caught up to me" phase.
- tailspin2019 5y ago
  Yes the deadlock phase is front of mind for me right now because I’ve been in it for a couple of weeks. But you’re right that the “neglect phase” accounts for the vast majority of time. And when I’m in that, I forget all about the existence of the “deadlock phase” even though I’ll be hurtling towards another one. Good to know that this self-destructive behaviour is common at least :)
  - borski 5y ago
    Both of your accounts match my experience, even down to the forgetting. ADHD people are generally bad at self-reflection, and I know I definitely am, despite having gotten better at it over the years. I’m so happy to see this discussion happening on HN
    - tailspin2019 5y ago
      It's actually seeing such discussions about ADHD over the years on HN that led me to seek an assessment and to ultimately be diagnosed myself only a few weeks ago. It was a massive paradigm shift for me which I'm only still coming to terms with. The various discussions that pop up on HN about this topic have been hugely helpful. More so than many other places on the internet.
    - deleted 5y ago
      [deleted]

meowface 5y ago

Actually, yeah, I relate to that 100%, too. (Even doing it right this second.) I just spend a lot more of my time in the neglect phase than the "caught up to me" phase.

tailspin2019 5y ago
Yes the deadlock phase is front of mind for me right now because I’ve been in it for a couple of weeks. But you’re right that the “neglect phase” accounts for the vast majority of time. And when I’m in that, I forget all about the existence of the “deadlock phase” even though I’ll be hurtling towards another one. Good to know that this self-destructive behaviour is common at least :)
- borski 5y ago
  Both of your accounts match my experience, even down to the forgetting. ADHD people are generally bad at self-reflection, and I know I definitely am, despite having gotten better at it over the years. I’m so happy to see this discussion happening on HN
  - tailspin2019 5y ago
    It's actually seeing such discussions about ADHD over the years on HN that led me to seek an assessment and to ultimately be diagnosed myself only a few weeks ago. It was a massive paradigm shift for me which I'm only still coming to terms with. The various discussions that pop up on HN about this topic have been hugely helpful. More so than many other places on the internet.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]