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>You're equally unable to do chores, hobbies, have fun, or even finish watching a TV series. ADHD does affect everything in my life, but I don't relate to this

>You're equally unable to do chores, hobbies, have fun, or even finish watching a TV series. ADHD does affect everything in my life, but I don't relate to this part. For me, it primarily manifests as there being an immense amount of inertia required to do things I don't want to do. I have no issue doing things I intrinsically want to do. If it's a TV show, hobby, or fun-having activity that I really like, then I'm perfectly able to do them. If I don't like them, then, yeah, they're probably never getting done, or only getting done in a very pathological way. Procrastinating 3 months of work until the day before the deadline, procrastinating cleaning something for a year until someone has to come over to visit, procrastinating taxes until an hour before midnight on tax day. It's the same story every time. If it's a hobby or TV show I don't like, then I have no reason to continue it. My ADHD and motivation signal to me what what I actually do and don't want to do during my fleeting period of existence. I feel no guilt about dropping something like that if it can't hold my attention. I only feel guilt when it's something I really should be doing, like work, paperwork, etc., and especially things where I know I'm losing lots of money by not doing it. There are plenty of things I want to want to do, and those things will never get done. But if I actually want to do something, with no meta-layers, then there's no issue for me.

tailspin2019 5y ago
Your experience matches mine, apart from that I find that if I'm procrastinating on important/severe enough things, then my ability to do even things I enjoy diminishes too. Personally I think the reason is that the cognitive dissonance gets in the way... I know that I absolutely should urgently do X (important thing I'm putting off) and all the time I don't, I cannot reconcile a deliberate decision to do Y (trivial thing I'd really enjoy). So with the inability to do either X or Y, I just end up being fully stuck and in total deadlock. Most of the time this situation is preceded by many days, weeks or months of me DOING all those things I enjoy while blissfully neglecting the things I should be doing. It's the end result of this behaviour that eventually leads to the deadlock.
- meowface 5y ago
  Actually, yeah, I relate to that 100%, too. (Even doing it right this second.) I just spend a lot more of my time in the neglect phase than the "caught up to me" phase.
  - tailspin2019 5y ago
    Yes the deadlock phase is front of mind for me right now because I’ve been in it for a couple of weeks. But you’re right that the “neglect phase” accounts for the vast majority of time. And when I’m in that, I forget all about the existence of the “deadlock phase” even though I’ll be hurtling towards another one. Good to know that this self-destructive behaviour is common at least :)
    - borski 5y ago
      Both of your accounts match my experience, even down to the forgetting. ADHD people are generally bad at self-reflection, and I know I definitely am, despite having gotten better at it over the years. I’m so happy to see this discussion happening on HN
      - tailspin2019 5y ago
        It's actually seeing such discussions about ADHD over the years on HN that led me to seek an assessment and to ultimately be diagnosed myself only a few weeks ago. It was a massive paradigm shift for me which I'm only still coming to terms with. The various discussions that pop up on HN about this topic have been hugely helpful. More so than many other places on the internet.
      - deleted 5y ago
        [deleted]

tailspin2019 5y ago

Your experience matches mine, apart from that I find that if I'm procrastinating on important/severe enough things, then my ability to do even things I enjoy diminishes too. Personally I think the reason is that the cognitive dissonance gets in the way... I know that I absolutely should urgently do X (important thing I'm putting off) and all the time I don't, I cannot reconcile a deliberate decision to do Y (trivial thing I'd really enjoy). So with the inability to do either X or Y, I just end up being fully stuck and in total deadlock. Most of the time this situation is preceded by many days, weeks or months of me DOING all those things I enjoy while blissfully neglecting the things I should be doing. It's the end result of this behaviour that eventually leads to the deadlock.

meowface 5y ago
Actually, yeah, I relate to that 100%, too. (Even doing it right this second.) I just spend a lot more of my time in the neglect phase than the "caught up to me" phase.
- tailspin2019 5y ago
  Yes the deadlock phase is front of mind for me right now because I’ve been in it for a couple of weeks. But you’re right that the “neglect phase” accounts for the vast majority of time. And when I’m in that, I forget all about the existence of the “deadlock phase” even though I’ll be hurtling towards another one. Good to know that this self-destructive behaviour is common at least :)
  - borski 5y ago
    Both of your accounts match my experience, even down to the forgetting. ADHD people are generally bad at self-reflection, and I know I definitely am, despite having gotten better at it over the years. I’m so happy to see this discussion happening on HN
    - tailspin2019 5y ago
      It's actually seeing such discussions about ADHD over the years on HN that led me to seek an assessment and to ultimately be diagnosed myself only a few weeks ago. It was a massive paradigm shift for me which I'm only still coming to terms with. The various discussions that pop up on HN about this topic have been hugely helpful. More so than many other places on the internet.
    - deleted 5y ago
      [deleted]