3 ms·

Your assertion is that "one derives joy out of the endeavor itself", in reference to the cultivation of a hobby, "can and does go wrong more often than not"? I

Your assertion is that "one derives joy out of the endeavor itself", in reference to the cultivation of a hobby, "can and does go wrong more often than not"? I kinda stopped reading after this part. Best of luck in your search I guess.

alisonkisk 5y ago
you're missing the point. no matter how pure everyone's motives are, it's a mathematical fact that 7 men and 3 women aren't going to end up in heterosexual pairs.
- void_mint 5y ago
  That is a _rough_ way to live life, breaking down potential hobbies into “mathematical” ideas around probability to find a mate. I mean no disrespect, but that also sounds like a huge red flag in potential partners. “My only interests are optimizing the odds of finding a mate” is obviously not going to lead to an interesting and fulfilling life, both of which are usually important in and outside of relationships…
  - KronisLV 5y ago
    Perhaps that's why this is not always s good idea: > I found my partner through a common interest and I'd suggest it as a preferable route for most folks looking. (which then turned into a discussion of interest groups) If you want to enjoy a hobby, enjoy it without the expectation of finding a mate. If you go in with that particular expectation, it might consume your enjoyment of the hobby. Plus, your odds aren't necessarily that much better, because of the reasons a poster above mentioned. If you want to join a book club because you like books, do so. If you want to date someone, also do so (through apps or otherwise). If, however, you find someone who likes you at said book club, good for you! But please don't make everyone In the book club feel uncomfortable by making it obvious you're there to also look for a mate.
Dracophoenix 5y ago
What assertion? One can cultivate a liking in a mutual hobby in a way that puts the other person off. For example, in political activism (which has been responsible for the creation and dissolution of many relationships) even if two people agree on same basic premises, that does not mean they share complementary motivations or standards in such a way that is conducive for one to want a relationship with the other person. And yes, as every human being has led a distinct life there will, more often than not, be differences in expectations and desires between two people and that likely will lead to something going wrong. That disproves the point that simply being in proximity to someone of the same hobby is necessarily an advantage.
- void_mint 5y ago
  You're again still focused about ratios and optimization and I'm again pointing out the original prompt was to cultivate hobbies without regard to ratios and optimization. I'll butt out (as I unsuccessfully tried to do before). Enjoy your day!

alisonkisk 5y ago

you're missing the point. no matter how pure everyone's motives are, it's a mathematical fact that 7 men and 3 women aren't going to end up in heterosexual pairs.

void_mint 5y ago
That is a _rough_ way to live life, breaking down potential hobbies into “mathematical” ideas around probability to find a mate. I mean no disrespect, but that also sounds like a huge red flag in potential partners. “My only interests are optimizing the odds of finding a mate” is obviously not going to lead to an interesting and fulfilling life, both of which are usually important in and outside of relationships…
- KronisLV 5y ago
  Perhaps that's why this is not always s good idea: > I found my partner through a common interest and I'd suggest it as a preferable route for most folks looking. (which then turned into a discussion of interest groups) If you want to enjoy a hobby, enjoy it without the expectation of finding a mate. If you go in with that particular expectation, it might consume your enjoyment of the hobby. Plus, your odds aren't necessarily that much better, because of the reasons a poster above mentioned. If you want to join a book club because you like books, do so. If you want to date someone, also do so (through apps or otherwise). If, however, you find someone who likes you at said book club, good for you! But please don't make everyone In the book club feel uncomfortable by making it obvious you're there to also look for a mate.

Dracophoenix 5y ago

What assertion? One can cultivate a liking in a mutual hobby in a way that puts the other person off. For example, in political activism (which has been responsible for the creation and dissolution of many relationships) even if two people agree on same basic premises, that does not mean they share complementary motivations or standards in such a way that is conducive for one to want a relationship with the other person. And yes, as every human being has led a distinct life there will, more often than not, be differences in expectations and desires between two people and that likely will lead to something going wrong. That disproves the point that simply being in proximity to someone of the same hobby is necessarily an advantage.

void_mint 5y ago
You're again still focused about ratios and optimization and I'm again pointing out the original prompt was to cultivate hobbies without regard to ratios and optimization. I'll butt out (as I unsuccessfully tried to do before). Enjoy your day!