4 ms·

That really doesn't have to be true at all. There are places where women are going to be happy to talk to you, and even share their number with you, if you seem

That really doesn't have to be true at all. There are places where women are going to be happy to talk to you, and even share their number with you, if you seem nice. Even in the west -- which is probably the worst for dating, I'll admit -- you can just join clubs or go to house parties or dinner parties, or events, and meet people that way. Most of my girlfriends I met "organically" just by being myself in normal social situations and having a group of friends.

Shugarl 5y ago
I'd argue most men don't share your experience, which is why online dating services have much more men than they have women.
- hungryforcodes 5y ago
  Most men...in this thread? Because I know alot who are very successful with women, have gotten married and had families...by just going out and being social. You should try socializing or dating in another country then. If you are not having luck "here" (where ever that is), why keep repeating the pattern?
whynotminot 5y ago
No of course there are places in the real world where women will talk to you. I too have been to parties. Lol But even in a social setting where there is opportunity for co-mingling, men generally still have to be the ones who "make the move" right? At least in my experience. Start the conversation, feel out the situation, ask for the phone number if things seem to be going well. That's a male-driven process that takes some calibrated effort (be charming without overdoing it, try without appearing to try, etc). At any party I've been to, I've never had success with women by just waiting in the corner for them to find me. What I'm saying is the apps provide a much easier, more available way for men to do the pursuit work. That's why I think men swarm to them in greater numbers than women. Now, if you're the kind of guy that sorta just shows up and suddenly women are handing you their phone number, congrats. You do not have the challenges the rest of us plebs have to deal with.
- hungryforcodes 5y ago
  "At any party I've been to, I've never had success with women by just waiting in the corner for them to find me." You're missing my point here. I'm saying hang out with groups of people and you will eventually talk with a girl and get to know one that you like. You may have to talk to 100 girls, but just be natural about it-- girls sense when you are faking it with some PUA stuff. "What I'm saying is the apps provide a much easier, more available way for men to do the pursuit work. That's why I think men swarm to them in greater numbers than women." Sure, but all the men in this thread are complaining that it's super focused on the pictures -- swipe left / swipe right -- and some are claiming only 2% of the men get a benefit from actually using the apps. So using the app is like a delusion. Just a more efficient way to not get a date. So I am saying go talk to girls you want to meet in real life. Cut out the swiping. "Now, if you're the kind of guy that sorta just shows up and suddenly women are handing you their phone number, congrats. You do not have the challenges the rest of us plebs have to deal with." You know, they say that to get what you want, you have to know what is available first. I do well with women, but with women that would go for me. I'm not going to get the number from that 9/10 who has a beach bod and wants a guy with a muscle car. But what I have learned is that if a girl is single and might be into you, its worth saying hello in real life, or making a joke about how long the lineup is at the grocery, or it doesn't even matter what. Just creating an opportunity. 100 times ot won't work. But 101th is what you're looking for. Or move to another country. An American will be considered exotic and new in France, Germany, Asia, etc...on that basis alone you can meet girls.
  - whynotminot 5y ago
    I’m not disagreeing with anything you’re saying. The apps are just in theory easier and that’s why men use them.
    - hungryforcodes 5y ago
      Yeah, I get that.

Shugarl 5y ago

I'd argue most men don't share your experience, which is why online dating services have much more men than they have women.

hungryforcodes 5y ago
Most men...in this thread? Because I know alot who are very successful with women, have gotten married and had families...by just going out and being social. You should try socializing or dating in another country then. If you are not having luck "here" (where ever that is), why keep repeating the pattern?

whynotminot 5y ago

No of course there are places in the real world where women will talk to you. I too have been to parties. Lol But even in a social setting where there is opportunity for co-mingling, men generally still have to be the ones who "make the move" right? At least in my experience. Start the conversation, feel out the situation, ask for the phone number if things seem to be going well. That's a male-driven process that takes some calibrated effort (be charming without overdoing it, try without appearing to try, etc). At any party I've been to, I've never had success with women by just waiting in the corner for them to find me. What I'm saying is the apps provide a much easier, more available way for men to do the pursuit work. That's why I think men swarm to them in greater numbers than women. Now, if you're the kind of guy that sorta just shows up and suddenly women are handing you their phone number, congrats. You do not have the challenges the rest of us plebs have to deal with.

hungryforcodes 5y ago
"At any party I've been to, I've never had success with women by just waiting in the corner for them to find me." You're missing my point here. I'm saying hang out with groups of people and you will eventually talk with a girl and get to know one that you like. You may have to talk to 100 girls, but just be natural about it-- girls sense when you are faking it with some PUA stuff. "What I'm saying is the apps provide a much easier, more available way for men to do the pursuit work. That's why I think men swarm to them in greater numbers than women." Sure, but all the men in this thread are complaining that it's super focused on the pictures -- swipe left / swipe right -- and some are claiming only 2% of the men get a benefit from actually using the apps. So using the app is like a delusion. Just a more efficient way to not get a date. So I am saying go talk to girls you want to meet in real life. Cut out the swiping. "Now, if you're the kind of guy that sorta just shows up and suddenly women are handing you their phone number, congrats. You do not have the challenges the rest of us plebs have to deal with." You know, they say that to get what you want, you have to know what is available first. I do well with women, but with women that would go for me. I'm not going to get the number from that 9/10 who has a beach bod and wants a guy with a muscle car. But what I have learned is that if a girl is single and might be into you, its worth saying hello in real life, or making a joke about how long the lineup is at the grocery, or it doesn't even matter what. Just creating an opportunity. 100 times ot won't work. But 101th is what you're looking for. Or move to another country. An American will be considered exotic and new in France, Germany, Asia, etc...on that basis alone you can meet girls.
- whynotminot 5y ago
  I’m not disagreeing with anything you’re saying. The apps are just in theory easier and that’s why men use them.
  - hungryforcodes 5y ago
    Yeah, I get that.