Ran out of room (and apologies if my formatting is hard to read!) but happy to elaborate on any of the points here as well. One worth mentioning is the career

Ran out of room (and apologies if my formatting is hard to read!) but happy to elaborate on any of the points here as well. One worth mentioning is the career stuff. I'm far less motivated by work than she is; for me, as a developer, I'm happy if I'm working in just about anything full-stack (React Native + some sorta backend), and I prefer working alone. So I could work on just about anything, so long as the pay is good. I also work best in afternoons and evenings (3pm -7pm are my deep work 'sweet spot' hours), so I already do a lot of housework / errands in the morning and during the day. I also enjoy this sorta thing; tidying, making coffees for both of us, doing the washing give me some weird spark of joy that we need to capitalise on! I do earn more money (I currently bill at $1k/day) so I'm in a pretty lucky position. For her, she works amazingly well in a collaborative environment, and a lot of her best work is done through co-design. She gets so much from working in a values-driven company with great people. Because of this she's much more tied to 9 - 5 working hours. She's highly energetic and throws a lot of herself into her work. I think part of her concern is that motherhood will destroy her body + her mind, and will make it impossible for her to get back into work. Other concerns that we both have is her losing a lot of her identity through having kids. As she puts it: "I'm worried my body will never be truly mine ever again". She's also concerned about something we both saw a lot of with our parents in the 90s - mothers whose whole identity comes from having kids, who then get divorced and become quite lost. Women over 45 are at fastest growing group at risk of homelessness in Australia [1], I want to ensure her superannuation (retirement savings) is equal to mine at the very least. I know we can't plan ahead for much of this, but we would like to find ways to make sure doesn't lose everything to childbirth, as well as ways for me to give the best contributions that I can. [1]: https://theconversation.com/400-000-women-over-45-are-at-risk-of-homelessness-in-australia-142906 https://theconversation.com/400-000-women-over-45-are-at-ris...