Tangentially: check out Kohlberg's Theory of Moral Development (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kohlberg%27s_stages_of_moral_development http://en.wikipedia.org/wi

Tangentially: check out Kohlberg's Theory of Moral Development (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kohlberg%27s_stages_of_moral_development http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kohlberg%27s_stages_of_moral_de...) -- people start to make more sense once you get your head around the theory (if you decide that it seems valid). So, comments like the grandparent's are just examples of the law-and-order stage of moral development, whereas yours are an example of either the fifth or six stages.