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My father and ex husband both wrote poems. There's nothing inherently gendered about writing rhymes. It was rare, most of them told me, for a man to write at s
by DoreenMichele 5y ago
My father and ex husband both wrote poems. There's nothing inherently gendered about writing rhymes.
It was rare, most of them told me, for a man to write at such length, much less to write with consideration and investment.
To me, that boils down to what I tried to say above: women expect commitment and evidence that you will stick around. "Writing at length" is, in part, simply a matter of putting in the time.
- thaumasiotes 5y ago> To me, that boils down to what I tried to say above: women expect commitment and evidence that you will stick around. I think this is a difference in perception. Sending poetry is not commitment or evidence that you will stick around. But women may perceive it as being that anyway. More generally, I see systematic and large differences in how men and women choose to describe exactly the same behavior. I like Craig Morgan's song That's Why. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEfJ8Q6keRk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEfJ8Q6keRk ) And a primary message that I see in it is that one way to be valuable as a husband and father is by paying the family's expenses. I expressed this idea to my sister and she was disgusted with my point of view. But when, later, I played the song for her and asked what she thought, what she thought was "that guy sounds really sweet".
- deleted 5y ago[deleted]
- Dracophoenix 5y agoI'm somewhat confused. In what way do you mean pay the family expenses? Was you sister disgusted with the idea of a woman/herself paying the family expenses, or a singular individual being in that position at all?
- itronitron 5y agoMy interpretation of the parent post is that it's a personal anecdote along the lines of... women find it romantic on a date for the man to pay for dinner but also expect equal career opportunities and wages from their employers. I actually support the woman's take on this although I think they should lean in and own the bias, as women are generally taking on a greater risk when dating than men are. Great song btw.
- Dracophoenix 5y ago>>women are generally taking on a greater risk when dating than men are. Can you clarify what you mean by this? I don't see where women are taking a greater risk in dating or why you think women, or anyone at all, should by default receive an implicit payout in the form of a free dinner. No one on a date is a victim or supposed to be treated like one. On a date, both participants have enough agency to decide whether or not a date is not worth one's further time. Ergo both participants should by default be expected to pay for their own food.