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I wonder what the general split is. As a single person who does not have a family, working from home permanently sounds horrifically lonely. I only made it a m

I wonder what the general split is. As a single person who does not have a family, working from home permanently sounds horrifically lonely. I only made it a month of solitude before I terminated my lease and moved back in with my parents (the rest of my siblings joined as well). I also have ADHD, and sharing a space for work and play has been terrible for my ability to focus. That being said, I totally understand the other viewpoint(s). I watched my father spend 3 hours in the car every day to commute to offices he hated for the majority of my childhood. He worked from home during the first few years after the dotcom crash, which was a wonderful opportunity for him to spend time with my siblings and I when we were young children. My response to seeing that as a kid was making the decision that I would do whatever I could to avoid commuting. Since I'm still single, this has meant living in an apartment a short walk from where I work. Admittedly, I'm lucky in the sense that the office is in a relatively suburban setting. We're outside the city, so it's not city life but it's not suburban sprawl hell either. Obviously the dynamic may change if I meet someone and have kids in the future and decide where the office is is not where we want to raise kids. We don't gain anything from just having a knee-jerk reaction to the opposite solution. You just have a different set of happy and unhappy people.

kag0 5y ago
I think you've answered your own question. People who feel positively about their home life are inclined to maximize it by working from home. People who feel negatively or have little home life are inclined to get out and seek social/private opportunities at or around the office. Note that feeling negatively or having little home life is meant to encompass a range of situations that don't necessarily mean someone has a bad private life or that they're unhappy with their private life.
- tshaddox 5y ago
  It doesn’t seem like it’s that simple. The fact that I enjoy my home life is precisely why I don’t want to work there. Maintaining an office space at home is a significant expense and I don’t hear much about tech employers paying for it.
  - meheleventyone 5y ago
    Anecdotal but my employer is perfectly happy to pay for all our home office equipment as well as stuff like co-working if people don’t want to or can’t work at home. The worst part of the pandemic is that remote has meant home for most people without necessarily planning it from a work point of view. I’ve been working remote for three years and the pandemic part has been a low point for all sorts of reasons. I worked from a coffee shop for the first time in over a year last Friday and it was great. Basically remote should mean flexibility.
XorNot 5y ago
For me it's that I don't want to socialize in the workplace. I need that space for money, which is why I want to know as little as possible about anyone else there. Which then makes the daily commute essentially all this time that keeps me from being with people I actually want to be with like my partner. Couple all of that to the observation that ultimately in the tech world its a lot of work just to move me from sitting in front of one desk to sitting in front of another, and its really hard to muster much enthusiasm for the alleged benefits of being in an office - particularly when I can supply better and more ergonomic hardware and software for myself.
flukus 5y ago
> I only made it a month of solitude before I terminated my lease and moved back in with my parents (the rest of my siblings joined as well). The problem there is the solitude, but during normal non-covid times this is orthogonal to working from home. It sounds like you and many others are missing social outlets outside of the workplace and these are important to have whether you're working from home or not, just part of a healthy work-life balance. Jobs change, companies go bankrupt, bought out, close offices, fire people, etc routinely and you don't want to lose your entire social circle when these things happen. I'd look into ways of expanding your social needs outside of work, be it The local pub, church, sports club, makers group, library or whatever else, I'm sure there's something around that fits your needs.
- notatoad 5y ago
  > I'd look into ways of expanding your social needs outside of work, be it The local pub, church, sports club, makers group, library or whatever else, I'm sure there's something around that fits your needs. This is fair, but what you have to understand is that you're taking away something work used to provide, and asking the employee to provide it for themselves. There is a group of people for whom "work friends" are really important. Whether work friends are their only friends or just a subset of friends, the low-pressure friendship of only socializing with somebody because you have to is a different relationship to clearly indicated socializing with somebody because you want to. And so for those people who really value the "work friendship", that is essentially part of their compensation. Companies need to understand that for some demographics (especially the young nerds that make up so much of the workforce in tech) if they aren't providing low-pressure socialization opportunities, they need to consider what alternative strategies they can use to retain staff.
  - lostcolony 5y ago
    So you touch on something - work friends are really important only because they're lacking social connection elsewhere. But...work friends aren't friends. It's very rare to stay in touch if you change jobs. In fact, that normalized relationship is a tie keeping you at a job that may otherwise be bad. As a reason for why to be in the office, I feel like it's a coping mechanism, rather than real fulfillment of the need. I can't say "better to rip the bandaid off" or similar, but I can say that the 'right' solution is to find connection outside of work. Even if you're in the office, you have to do that for the friendship to persist should you ever leave.
sidlls 5y ago
Unmarried, childless, 20-something me would have loved nothing more than to have that kind of isolation. I love my family, but I could very easily picture myself not interacting directly with people and being very happy.
- eythian 5y ago
  I thought I'd be cool with it too, and for the first few months I was. I'd occasionally meet up with friends, but in general would go weeks and not see much of anyone. However after a while this situation started taking a fairly significant toll, and I started making a point of arranging something with someone every weekend, just to get some non-video-chat interaction.
himinlomax 5y ago
> I also have ADHD, and sharing a space for work and play has been terrible for my ability to focus. I have ADHD, and sharing an open floor plan is much, much worse. At least at home I can organize my surroundings to encourage productivity, whereas in offices I'm stuck with what's available; and for almost all the jobs I've had, it was just terrible.

kag0 5y ago

I think you've answered your own question. People who feel positively about their home life are inclined to maximize it by working from home. People who feel negatively or have little home life are inclined to get out and seek social/private opportunities at or around the office. Note that feeling negatively or having little home life is meant to encompass a range of situations that don't necessarily mean someone has a bad private life or that they're unhappy with their private life.

tshaddox 5y ago
It doesn’t seem like it’s that simple. The fact that I enjoy my home life is precisely why I don’t want to work there. Maintaining an office space at home is a significant expense and I don’t hear much about tech employers paying for it.
- meheleventyone 5y ago
  Anecdotal but my employer is perfectly happy to pay for all our home office equipment as well as stuff like co-working if people don’t want to or can’t work at home. The worst part of the pandemic is that remote has meant home for most people without necessarily planning it from a work point of view. I’ve been working remote for three years and the pandemic part has been a low point for all sorts of reasons. I worked from a coffee shop for the first time in over a year last Friday and it was great. Basically remote should mean flexibility.

XorNot 5y ago

For me it's that I don't want to socialize in the workplace. I need that space for money, which is why I want to know as little as possible about anyone else there. Which then makes the daily commute essentially all this time that keeps me from being with people I actually want to be with like my partner. Couple all of that to the observation that ultimately in the tech world its a lot of work just to move me from sitting in front of one desk to sitting in front of another, and its really hard to muster much enthusiasm for the alleged benefits of being in an office - particularly when I can supply better and more ergonomic hardware and software for myself.

flukus 5y ago

> I only made it a month of solitude before I terminated my lease and moved back in with my parents (the rest of my siblings joined as well). The problem there is the solitude, but during normal non-covid times this is orthogonal to working from home. It sounds like you and many others are missing social outlets outside of the workplace and these are important to have whether you're working from home or not, just part of a healthy work-life balance. Jobs change, companies go bankrupt, bought out, close offices, fire people, etc routinely and you don't want to lose your entire social circle when these things happen. I'd look into ways of expanding your social needs outside of work, be it The local pub, church, sports club, makers group, library or whatever else, I'm sure there's something around that fits your needs.

notatoad 5y ago
> I'd look into ways of expanding your social needs outside of work, be it The local pub, church, sports club, makers group, library or whatever else, I'm sure there's something around that fits your needs. This is fair, but what you have to understand is that you're taking away something work used to provide, and asking the employee to provide it for themselves. There is a group of people for whom "work friends" are really important. Whether work friends are their only friends or just a subset of friends, the low-pressure friendship of only socializing with somebody because you have to is a different relationship to clearly indicated socializing with somebody because you want to. And so for those people who really value the "work friendship", that is essentially part of their compensation. Companies need to understand that for some demographics (especially the young nerds that make up so much of the workforce in tech) if they aren't providing low-pressure socialization opportunities, they need to consider what alternative strategies they can use to retain staff.
- lostcolony 5y ago
  So you touch on something - work friends are really important only because they're lacking social connection elsewhere. But...work friends aren't friends. It's very rare to stay in touch if you change jobs. In fact, that normalized relationship is a tie keeping you at a job that may otherwise be bad. As a reason for why to be in the office, I feel like it's a coping mechanism, rather than real fulfillment of the need. I can't say "better to rip the bandaid off" or similar, but I can say that the 'right' solution is to find connection outside of work. Even if you're in the office, you have to do that for the friendship to persist should you ever leave.

sidlls 5y ago

Unmarried, childless, 20-something me would have loved nothing more than to have that kind of isolation. I love my family, but I could very easily picture myself not interacting directly with people and being very happy.

eythian 5y ago
I thought I'd be cool with it too, and for the first few months I was. I'd occasionally meet up with friends, but in general would go weeks and not see much of anyone. However after a while this situation started taking a fairly significant toll, and I started making a point of arranging something with someone every weekend, just to get some non-video-chat interaction.

himinlomax 5y ago

> I also have ADHD, and sharing a space for work and play has been terrible for my ability to focus. I have ADHD, and sharing an open floor plan is much, much worse. At least at home I can organize my surroundings to encourage productivity, whereas in offices I'm stuck with what's available; and for almost all the jobs I've had, it was just terrible.