4 ms·

As someone who lost two parents by 60, to alcohol, I hope John’s passing can serve as a reminder to those struggling that today is a great day to get sober. The

As someone who lost two parents by 60, to alcohol, I hope John’s passing can serve as a reminder to those struggling that today is a great day to get sober. There is no shame in the fact that you’re an alcoholic or any other dependency you’re facing. What you’re feeling is real, difficult to overcome, but not insurmountable. There’s an AA meeting near you that’s probably happening in a few hours. And, if AA isn’t your thing, there are other alternatives as well. I hope you can find a way to make it there, and begin the journey you deserve to live a long, healthy, fulfilling life.

serf 5y ago
question : is your premise based around the fact that the coroner's report cited chronic alcohol related injury, or the testimony of his friends or family? My mother's autopsy and subsequent coroner's testimony stated that she had alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver, indications of alcohol-enabled pancreatitis, and cardiovascular evidence of alcohol abuse.. thing is -- I had lived with her and taken care of her for 20+ years. She hadn't touched alcohol during that time. She stated that before that time that she had been an occasional light social drinker -- and her social community backed her up on that conclusion; there was no real evidence of alcohol abuse in her life. She had other vices; she smoked until death. She didn't drink. She died at 65. So, I ask because I no longer trust coroner's reports wholeheartedly. I think they intend well, and I think they're probably roughly accurate about the state of the body at death -- but I think they probably miss a lot of nuance and probably come up with a lot of shoddy predictions regarding 'lived lifestyle'. P.S. if you ended up curious as to why she had all that internal injury -- she had a terrible fight with necrotizing fasciitis on one of her legs after an injury during gardening from a rose thorn and subsequent infection earlier in her life -- her ICU stay was extremely long and filled with experimental drugs/antibiotics that came with all sorts of precautions and side effects. Her GP at the time believed the liver damage to be caused by one of the (many) antibiotics.
- wjossey 5y ago
  Yes. Just going off the public report by the sheriff’s department. My message stands whether or not folks believe the report is accurate. Hundreds die every day from alcohol abuse, whether or not John was one of them.
  - justinator 5y ago
    As someone who lost their Mother while she was in here 50's to alcohol, I just want to say thank you for showing some compassion. I would do anything to have my Mother with me still here, today.
    - wjossey 5y ago
      My deepest sympathies, Justin.
- ping_pong 5y ago
  Did she by chance drink a lot of soda or other sugar drinks? Or was she a diabetic? I've heard that high blood sugar causes the similar types of damage.
  - snet0 5y ago
    I believe the term is "non-alcoholic fatty liver disease". My mother hasn't had alcohol in 40 years, but apparently her liver tells a different story. She does love chocolate, however.
pengaru 5y ago
As if sober people live forever...
- wjossey 5y ago
  You’re right. Children die seconds after coming into this world, and cancer and disease can kill the most healthy of us. I would have wished for that end for my father, rather than the squalor, isolation, and suffering that found him for nearly half a decade before he died. Or for my step mother, not being found for weeks after her passing because she drank herself to death on her birthday. Mother Nature is cruel. We don’t need to load the deck for her. P.S.: I’m not sure what happened in your life than led you to want to make snarky remarks in response to someone sharing about the death of a loved one, and hoping people get help for a disease that not only impacts them but those that love them. It seems to me that it must have been really traumatic or difficult to make you want to do that. There are some really wonderful therapists out in this world that I’m sure could help give you the tools to help move past those emotions and act with more empathy.
antihero 5y ago
I struggle with alcohol dependency because I have a great time with alcohol. However, I am pretty sure it hold me back and makes me unhealthy and fat. I did go to an AA meeting once and honestly it creeped me the fuck out. Extremely culty, the people pouring their hearts out was moving but the level of fucked their life had become honestly made me feel less like I needed anything that severe. Alcohol consumption is a fun, positive thing in the most part for me - it is a culture I enjoy. I know it is expensive and there are multiple downsides, but I'd be interested in a more reasonable approach to reducing the amount I drink, something less absolutist.
- wjossey 5y ago
  There are therapists who specialize in substance abuse outside the AA model. You should call around to some local therapists and see if anyone feels like they might be a fit. They can also help you to understand what if any problem does exist for you.
- maroonblazer 5y ago
  I’d be curious to know how much you drink. I also have what I consider to be an alcohol dependency. In much the same way - practically identical in fact - to my caffeine dependency. I can skip the 2 glasses of wine and finger of scotch in the evening without much trouble , but, like skipping my morning coffee, the evening is less enjoyable

serf 5y ago

question : is your premise based around the fact that the coroner's report cited chronic alcohol related injury, or the testimony of his friends or family? My mother's autopsy and subsequent coroner's testimony stated that she had alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver, indications of alcohol-enabled pancreatitis, and cardiovascular evidence of alcohol abuse.. thing is -- I had lived with her and taken care of her for 20+ years. She hadn't touched alcohol during that time. She stated that before that time that she had been an occasional light social drinker -- and her social community backed her up on that conclusion; there was no real evidence of alcohol abuse in her life. She had other vices; she smoked until death. She didn't drink. She died at 65. So, I ask because I no longer trust coroner's reports wholeheartedly. I think they intend well, and I think they're probably roughly accurate about the state of the body at death -- but I think they probably miss a lot of nuance and probably come up with a lot of shoddy predictions regarding 'lived lifestyle'. P.S. if you ended up curious as to why she had all that internal injury -- she had a terrible fight with necrotizing fasciitis on one of her legs after an injury during gardening from a rose thorn and subsequent infection earlier in her life -- her ICU stay was extremely long and filled with experimental drugs/antibiotics that came with all sorts of precautions and side effects. Her GP at the time believed the liver damage to be caused by one of the (many) antibiotics.

wjossey 5y ago
Yes. Just going off the public report by the sheriff’s department. My message stands whether or not folks believe the report is accurate. Hundreds die every day from alcohol abuse, whether or not John was one of them.
- justinator 5y ago
  As someone who lost their Mother while she was in here 50's to alcohol, I just want to say thank you for showing some compassion. I would do anything to have my Mother with me still here, today.
  - wjossey 5y ago
    My deepest sympathies, Justin.
ping_pong 5y ago
Did she by chance drink a lot of soda or other sugar drinks? Or was she a diabetic? I've heard that high blood sugar causes the similar types of damage.
- snet0 5y ago
  I believe the term is "non-alcoholic fatty liver disease". My mother hasn't had alcohol in 40 years, but apparently her liver tells a different story. She does love chocolate, however.

pengaru 5y ago

As if sober people live forever...

wjossey 5y ago
You’re right. Children die seconds after coming into this world, and cancer and disease can kill the most healthy of us. I would have wished for that end for my father, rather than the squalor, isolation, and suffering that found him for nearly half a decade before he died. Or for my step mother, not being found for weeks after her passing because she drank herself to death on her birthday. Mother Nature is cruel. We don’t need to load the deck for her. P.S.: I’m not sure what happened in your life than led you to want to make snarky remarks in response to someone sharing about the death of a loved one, and hoping people get help for a disease that not only impacts them but those that love them. It seems to me that it must have been really traumatic or difficult to make you want to do that. There are some really wonderful therapists out in this world that I’m sure could help give you the tools to help move past those emotions and act with more empathy.

antihero 5y ago

I struggle with alcohol dependency because I have a great time with alcohol. However, I am pretty sure it hold me back and makes me unhealthy and fat. I did go to an AA meeting once and honestly it creeped me the fuck out. Extremely culty, the people pouring their hearts out was moving but the level of fucked their life had become honestly made me feel less like I needed anything that severe. Alcohol consumption is a fun, positive thing in the most part for me - it is a culture I enjoy. I know it is expensive and there are multiple downsides, but I'd be interested in a more reasonable approach to reducing the amount I drink, something less absolutist.

wjossey 5y ago
There are therapists who specialize in substance abuse outside the AA model. You should call around to some local therapists and see if anyone feels like they might be a fit. They can also help you to understand what if any problem does exist for you.
maroonblazer 5y ago
I’d be curious to know how much you drink. I also have what I consider to be an alcohol dependency. In much the same way - practically identical in fact - to my caffeine dependency. I can skip the 2 glasses of wine and finger of scotch in the evening without much trouble , but, like skipping my morning coffee, the evening is less enjoyable