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When growing up as a teenage male, there was a turning point in my mental development. I was sitting in class cracking jokes when this jerk kid stood up and pun

When growing up as a teenage male, there was a turning point in my mental development. I was sitting in class cracking jokes when this jerk kid stood up and punched me in the back of the head. I didn't know how to respond, so I just sat there. I was an out of shape kid who would have definitely lost. That event changed me. In the weeks and months ahead, anger and shame in my response led to a focused and intentional mental and physical development. I started exercising, eating better, and learning how to fight. I developed social responses that helped me become better respected and less manipulated, and changed from a rotund pushover to a normal male. Our society has changed massively over the decades, and one of the biggest changes I've seen is that it's become significantly more feminized, but I think it's important to acknowledge that some things that work for feminine young women won't necessarily work for masculine young men. I think that tough love programs exist because many men who go there and run the place went through similar experiences as me. If the stress is handled adaptively and not maladaptively, it can be a motivator for positive change while dealing with our weaknesses.

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jessaustin 5y ago
Did you also stop cracking jokes while classmates were struggling to learn?
kyriee 5y ago
Your response to that problematic event seems like dealing with trauma and some of the words you use like “our society has become […] significantly more feminized” seem to indicate some of those issues are still unresolved. While I appreciate that you turned this into a positive, I don’t think violence and tough love is something we should promote, celebrate or even tolerate as a society. Here is a crazy thought: how about we strive to create a space where everyone feels valid as they are, where they feel that have a space where they can contribute, rather than make people feel like they have to toughen up in order to “take charge” or forcefully “making space” for themselves by forcing others to follow their will. The guy hitting you was not an appropriate response, neither is you possibly disrupting class by cracking jokes. The solution is communication and respect. Getting buff and letting a culture of “boys will be boys” prevail is not.
- TheAdamAndChe 5y ago
  My statement on the feminization of society doesn't come from trauma. Global testosterone levels have been dropping for decades[1]. You can see it in old pictures: men were less fat, more competitive, and happier. Rates of sex and relationships among men and young boys have dropped precipitously. Speaking anecdotally, I feel most fulfilled when I embrace my masculine side and focus it on positive pursuits. Competition, pursuit of status, and power can all be good things if focused. This event unlocked that in me and helped me live a more fulfilled life I'm the long run. In fact, your response is exactly what I'm talking about. Productive masculine behavior is shamed nowadays. That's sad to me. [1] https://carraghermethod.com/the-hard-truth-for-men-declining-testosterone-levels-worldwide/ https://carraghermethod.com/the-hard-truth-for-men-declining...
  - Thiez 5y ago
    > Rates of sex and relationships among men and young boys have dropped precipitously. Perhaps I am reading this wrong, but it sounds a lot like you want a return of pederasty? Let's assume you mean relationships and sex with people of similar ages, what ages should we imagine when you say "young boys"?
    - thatfunkymunki 5y ago
      I believe he isn't referring to sex between the two, just the total.
      - Thiez 5y ago
        Well he did express a desire to return to traditional manliness, and you can't get more traditional than ancient Greece, right? I think it's great that he managed to positively channel his masculinity, but I have my doubts at considering getting punched in the back of the head a good or acceptable thing, even though it may have had a positive outcome in his case. Perhaps I'm too feminized.
  - Can_Not 5y ago
paulryanrogers 5y ago
As a teen male of short stature there was no hope of exercise rescuing me from abusive peers. There were only appeals to authority, avoidance, attempts at deft commentary, or submission and befriending the problem. Any gender preference school systems may or may not have aren't really a factor when the bully has 180 lbs to ones 100 lbs.
- deleted 5y ago
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jessaustin 5y ago

Did you also stop cracking jokes while classmates were struggling to learn?

kyriee 5y ago

Your response to that problematic event seems like dealing with trauma and some of the words you use like “our society has become […] significantly more feminized” seem to indicate some of those issues are still unresolved. While I appreciate that you turned this into a positive, I don’t think violence and tough love is something we should promote, celebrate or even tolerate as a society. Here is a crazy thought: how about we strive to create a space where everyone feels valid as they are, where they feel that have a space where they can contribute, rather than make people feel like they have to toughen up in order to “take charge” or forcefully “making space” for themselves by forcing others to follow their will. The guy hitting you was not an appropriate response, neither is you possibly disrupting class by cracking jokes. The solution is communication and respect. Getting buff and letting a culture of “boys will be boys” prevail is not.

TheAdamAndChe 5y ago
My statement on the feminization of society doesn't come from trauma. Global testosterone levels have been dropping for decades[1]. You can see it in old pictures: men were less fat, more competitive, and happier. Rates of sex and relationships among men and young boys have dropped precipitously. Speaking anecdotally, I feel most fulfilled when I embrace my masculine side and focus it on positive pursuits. Competition, pursuit of status, and power can all be good things if focused. This event unlocked that in me and helped me live a more fulfilled life I'm the long run. In fact, your response is exactly what I'm talking about. Productive masculine behavior is shamed nowadays. That's sad to me. [1] https://carraghermethod.com/the-hard-truth-for-men-declining-testosterone-levels-worldwide/ https://carraghermethod.com/the-hard-truth-for-men-declining...
- Thiez 5y ago
  > Rates of sex and relationships among men and young boys have dropped precipitously. Perhaps I am reading this wrong, but it sounds a lot like you want a return of pederasty? Let's assume you mean relationships and sex with people of similar ages, what ages should we imagine when you say "young boys"?
  - thatfunkymunki 5y ago
    I believe he isn't referring to sex between the two, just the total.
    - Thiez 5y ago
      Well he did express a desire to return to traditional manliness, and you can't get more traditional than ancient Greece, right? I think it's great that he managed to positively channel his masculinity, but I have my doubts at considering getting punched in the back of the head a good or acceptable thing, even though it may have had a positive outcome in his case. Perhaps I'm too feminized.
- Can_Not 5y ago

paulryanrogers 5y ago

As a teen male of short stature there was no hope of exercise rescuing me from abusive peers. There were only appeals to authority, avoidance, attempts at deft commentary, or submission and befriending the problem. Any gender preference school systems may or may not have aren't really a factor when the bully has 180 lbs to ones 100 lbs.

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