This sounds like a byproduct of your natural-language rather than a fact about the universe per se. Native American languages rather famously define things by f

This sounds like a byproduct of your natural-language rather than a fact about the universe per se. Native American languages rather famously define things by function rather than by state (Eg names like "runs with wolves"). In a different timeline where North America was never settled by Europeans, perhaps functional programming would be the default and Von Neumann style would be the weird thing nerds think about.