10 ms·

This person is/was not your friend.

by Lewisham 15y ago

cema 15y ago
Not a friend, but more importantly, not a very good boss either.
- mechanical_fish 15y ago
  Definitely not a good boss, but possibly still a friend. (No, I'm not just trying to fill out the matrix here. ;) It's important not to take management too personally. Just because this guy was horrible at understanding motivation doesn't mean he was a bad person or a bad friend, just that he was a really lousy boss. Lots of people don't understand how to motivate others. Lots of people don't consciously understand how to motivate themselves, in fact. It's probably a good idea not to put up with this forever, but it doesn't mean you can't be friends. I have many friends whom I would never work for. Most of us do, I'm sure.
  - enjo 15y ago
    +1 insightful. I've had one job in my adult life go completely sour. I was there for about 3 months and never really found a way to fit in culturally. My aspirations exceeded my role, and I was probably pretty difficult to deal with I imagine. After I left the company, I thought that my boss would have a lot of animosity towards me. He didn't. Turns out, he knew I was struggling and while he wanted to keep me (I was productive at the very least), he didn't hold any ill-feelings towards me leaving. As a boss now, I always try to keep that in mind. I inevitably develop personal relationships with every employee I've had. Even when that doesn't work out, I always support them however I can.
  - 1337p337 15y ago
    He was a friend before, which is why I spent as much time as I did trying to convince him to join the company, and trying to convince everyone that he'd be a good hire for VP of Engineering. We'd hang out on occasion, talk shop on the phone, etc. He's a pretty cool guy, but I don't especially care to see him again. (I was not the only or first one fired; I didn't make any efforts to conceal what I thought about our sysadmin getting fired.)

This person is/was not your friend.

cema 15y ago

Not a friend, but more importantly, not a very good boss either.

mechanical_fish 15y ago
Definitely not a good boss, but possibly still a friend. (No, I'm not just trying to fill out the matrix here. ;) It's important not to take management too personally. Just because this guy was horrible at understanding motivation doesn't mean he was a bad person or a bad friend, just that he was a really lousy boss. Lots of people don't understand how to motivate others. Lots of people don't consciously understand how to motivate themselves, in fact. It's probably a good idea not to put up with this forever, but it doesn't mean you can't be friends. I have many friends whom I would never work for. Most of us do, I'm sure.
- enjo 15y ago
  +1 insightful. I've had one job in my adult life go completely sour. I was there for about 3 months and never really found a way to fit in culturally. My aspirations exceeded my role, and I was probably pretty difficult to deal with I imagine. After I left the company, I thought that my boss would have a lot of animosity towards me. He didn't. Turns out, he knew I was struggling and while he wanted to keep me (I was productive at the very least), he didn't hold any ill-feelings towards me leaving. As a boss now, I always try to keep that in mind. I inevitably develop personal relationships with every employee I've had. Even when that doesn't work out, I always support them however I can.
- 1337p337 15y ago
  He was a friend before, which is why I spent as much time as I did trying to convince him to join the company, and trying to convince everyone that he'd be a good hire for VP of Engineering. We'd hang out on occasion, talk shop on the phone, etc. He's a pretty cool guy, but I don't especially care to see him again. (I was not the only or first one fired; I didn't make any efforts to conceal what I thought about our sysadmin getting fired.)