No, some people don't feel so strongly about this as part of their identity. I am definitely "male" and I definitely like "women", but it doesn't cause me ment

No, some people don't feel so strongly about this as part of their identity. I am definitely "male" and I definitely like "women", but it doesn't cause me mental anguish to think a man looks good. Other men clearly have a problem with that thought. I used to be bothered by the fact that I was uncomfortable when men would find me attractive. But I've realized that what's actually uncomfortable is anyone that I don't want to date, not just men. And now that I'm married, that's everyone but my wife. That same feeling I used to get when a man admitted they were attracted to me, I'd now feel when a woman says it. IMO, you seem like you're on a path of introspection. I'd encourage you to do that introspection with less worry about being "wrong" and more thought towards how everyone is different. If you feel something that you think is morally or ethically wrong, then I'd worry about that. But "gender isn't part of my identity" isn't wrong, and it's probably a lot more normal than you'd think. I mean, who talks about what they aren't unless it's a hot social topic right now?