3 ms·

Don't discount how many people regret not having children later in life. I'm not saying people have to have children to feel happy, but there is a non-negligibl

Don't discount how many people regret not having children later in life. I'm not saying people have to have children to feel happy, but there is a non-negligible number of men and women who get to middle age and feel regret that they were not able to start a family. But by then it is almost always too late. Edit: It's easy to look over at parents struggling with raising toddlers and think "I'm glad I don't have to do that", but once those children grow up and have lives of their own the level of fulfillment and joy those parents feel is impossible to describe to a non-parent.

cortic 5y ago
The grass will always be greener where you are not standing. But don't discount how many people regret having children later in life. There are a great many disappointments, heartaches, and estranged relationships in the world. Parents are heavily incentivized, both socially and psychologically to lie about this as well.
CJefferson 5y ago
I am willing to believe most parents love their children more than anything. However, I know a few parents who wish they'd never had children, and believe it ruined their lives. Of course, they would never say anything publicly, as it would crush their children. Most parents would never say "I wish I didn't have you" to their children, even if they believe it.
- BitwiseFool 5y ago
  That's true, there's no denying that. There's no universal should/shouldn't advice when it comes to having children.
- betterunix2 5y ago
  Also worth mentioning the other side -- people who regret not having children when they had the chance. Some older relatives told me they regretted their decision shortly after my son was born. I know another couple who waited until they were in their 40s to start trying to have kids (only to have a disappointing series of miscarriages). It is a hard decision. You have limited information, especially before your first child, and you are trying to make a decision that will impact your life for at least 20 years.
falcolas 5y ago
I can't say I've heard from one child-free couple/individual who regrets being child free. It implies that they have no chance to still do so. With adoption and fostering, there's no reason someone can't raise a child "later in life" should they truly desire to.

cortic 5y ago

The grass will always be greener where you are not standing. But don't discount how many people regret having children later in life. There are a great many disappointments, heartaches, and estranged relationships in the world. Parents are heavily incentivized, both socially and psychologically to lie about this as well.

CJefferson 5y ago

I am willing to believe most parents love their children more than anything. However, I know a few parents who wish they'd never had children, and believe it ruined their lives. Of course, they would never say anything publicly, as it would crush their children. Most parents would never say "I wish I didn't have you" to their children, even if they believe it.

BitwiseFool 5y ago
That's true, there's no denying that. There's no universal should/shouldn't advice when it comes to having children.
betterunix2 5y ago
Also worth mentioning the other side -- people who regret not having children when they had the chance. Some older relatives told me they regretted their decision shortly after my son was born. I know another couple who waited until they were in their 40s to start trying to have kids (only to have a disappointing series of miscarriages). It is a hard decision. You have limited information, especially before your first child, and you are trying to make a decision that will impact your life for at least 20 years.

falcolas 5y ago

I can't say I've heard from one child-free couple/individual who regrets being child free. It implies that they have no chance to still do so. With adoption and fostering, there's no reason someone can't raise a child "later in life" should they truly desire to.