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I thought this article would be about other things judging from the title, but these are good points. I'm not that old, and I remember "be home before dark" wh

I thought this article would be about other things judging from the title, but these are good points. I'm not that old, and I remember "be home before dark" when I was in the single digits. I was going outside, by myself, since about the age of 5. As soon as I could ride a bike that was it. Basically my parents made dinner and paid the rent, the rest was all me in my own life. There was a phase in my childhood where I was actually in a very dangerous environment, and as a result my freedom was restricted. I can compare the two. I think it damaged me quite a bit. I wonder about kids who never knew the freedom to be human beings. Again as a teenager I experienced that freedom and the good fitness that comes with having a wide range and only feet to get around. And there was trouble (exposure to drugs, etc). But all in all the trouble didn't affect me negatively in the long term, I think it was less harmful than if I'd otherwise been restricted, and most adults don't avoid those sorts of troubles either way. There is a network effect reinforcing this trend. Kids don't go outside because there's no kids outside. Also I think that while the fear of abduction or a terrible accident is there, I think we downplay other factors in the trend now, particularly the increased demand for creature comforts over the last 2 decades (and longer, but more pronounced more recently) and the availability of stimulation indoors. I remember the middle of the summer and going outside every day not once thinking it was too hot to go outside, then spending the entire day out there. People think I'm weird now for not using the AC in my car. I remember waking up in the morning and there was no inkling to check a phone. People can be immensely stimulated laying in bed now, with phones and videogames and such, and there are positives that come with these new tools but there are negative changes as well, and many people are beginning to come to the conclusion that the negatives outweigh the positives.

nomel 5y ago
> Kids don't go outside because there's no kids outside. I don't think it's that simple. If you let your kids outside, away from your supervision, there's a very real (absolutely certain, where I live) risk of the police getting involved.
- bamboozled 5y ago
  Maybe we need to talk about what’s wrong with adults being so freaking creepy !
- bsf_ 5y ago
  I can confirm this - last year I had to deal with Redwood City PD because my 11 year old daughter was playing after school on the playground (which is, amazingly, not allowed in CA?!). I stood my ground, but the incident involved the police department and meetings with the principal before it was resolved. California is doing a good job of driving the liberal right out of me.
  - spaetzleesser 5y ago
    “California is doing a good job of driving the liberal right out of me.” Same for me. CA seems to be full of control freaks who like to control others.
  - renewiltord 5y ago
    Thank you for sharing these stories from the trenches. I wonder what practical things I can do when I am a parent that will prevent these harmful interactions. It reminds me of the fact that I used to be crazy paranoid on weed in uni but I ate some a year or so ago and I just felt good. I was terrified of the consequences of being caught. Once the police disappeared as a threat, the actual thing was fine.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
  - watwut 5y ago
    The cop was liberal?
- betwixthewires 5y ago
  Where I live that's not really a worry and you still don't see children outside all that much by themselves, not like when I was a kid. You see a couple every now and then, when I was little outside belonged to the kids after school let out.
ip26 5y ago
Basically my parents made dinner and paid the rent, the rest was all me in my own life This is not really the relationship I aspire to have with my children.
- nix23 5y ago
  But the relationship your kids want, you are not a friend but a parent, you can be a friend when they are in their 20s-30
- betwixthewires 5y ago
  But it's the relationship they need from you. You don't create them for you, you create them for them. It's not literally I had no relationship with my parents. They got me ready for school in the morning, my mom and I had inside jokes, we spent time together, we went to the grocery store, I had homework. But from the minute I was headed to school until the sun went down most days I was out in the world by myself.
sixothree 5y ago
Gen X here. I started riding my bike in my neighborhood as soon as my next door neighbor took off the training wheels. It was a small neighborhood with clear boundaries. But as soon as I was 10 and 11 I was leaving to visit friends. I was thinking back recently to one forgotten friend who lived about 1.5 miles away and the pathway I would have taken to his house. It involved crossing two 6-lane divided highways and another Avenue. I was safe and patient. But I would be aghast to see it in action today. When I was 13 and 14 we would take "tours" of the city. Even on foot, I would meet friends and we would start early and walk as far as we could. Then take the bus or call our parents. I love those memories. So much. I loved the city for its shape before I was an adult. And that freedom and those memories have filled me my entire life. And when I started driving I knew how to get to all of the places. Before she died my mother would always tell me "the kids don't play the way you guys used to". We really tore it up.
- dmitryminkovsky 5y ago
  Sounds awesome, thanks for sharing. Reminded me of this short story by James Joyce called The Encounter [0], (minus the creepy guy). I never did anything like that, and I grew up in the US in the 90s. Typical suburban upbringing, nowhere in particular to go without a car. Were you in the US? [0] https://www.gutenberg.org/files/2814/2814-h/2814-h.htm#chap02 https://www.gutenberg.org/files/2814/2814-h/2814-h.htm#chap0...
  - sixothree 5y ago
    This might not come as a surprise but New Orleans. Things were.. different in the 80's here. And for sure we had plenty of run-ins with creeps.
- ping_pong 5y ago
  I think I was younger than 13 when Back to the Future came out. I saw that 3 times with my friends, and each time we had to travel by bus by ourselves for about 45 mins across town.
- kelnos 5y ago
  > I was safe and patient. But I would be aghast to see it in action today. Do you think that's because you believe things are less safe now than when you were a kid? Or is it because societal norms around risks & children have changed?

nomel 5y ago

> Kids don't go outside because there's no kids outside. I don't think it's that simple. If you let your kids outside, away from your supervision, there's a very real (absolutely certain, where I live) risk of the police getting involved.

bamboozled 5y ago
Maybe we need to talk about what’s wrong with adults being so freaking creepy !
bsf_ 5y ago
I can confirm this - last year I had to deal with Redwood City PD because my 11 year old daughter was playing after school on the playground (which is, amazingly, not allowed in CA?!). I stood my ground, but the incident involved the police department and meetings with the principal before it was resolved. California is doing a good job of driving the liberal right out of me.
- spaetzleesser 5y ago
  “California is doing a good job of driving the liberal right out of me.” Same for me. CA seems to be full of control freaks who like to control others.
- renewiltord 5y ago
  Thank you for sharing these stories from the trenches. I wonder what practical things I can do when I am a parent that will prevent these harmful interactions. It reminds me of the fact that I used to be crazy paranoid on weed in uni but I ate some a year or so ago and I just felt good. I was terrified of the consequences of being caught. Once the police disappeared as a threat, the actual thing was fine.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- watwut 5y ago
  The cop was liberal?
betwixthewires 5y ago
Where I live that's not really a worry and you still don't see children outside all that much by themselves, not like when I was a kid. You see a couple every now and then, when I was little outside belonged to the kids after school let out.

ip26 5y ago

Basically my parents made dinner and paid the rent, the rest was all me in my own life This is not really the relationship I aspire to have with my children.

nix23 5y ago
But the relationship your kids want, you are not a friend but a parent, you can be a friend when they are in their 20s-30
betwixthewires 5y ago
But it's the relationship they need from you. You don't create them for you, you create them for them. It's not literally I had no relationship with my parents. They got me ready for school in the morning, my mom and I had inside jokes, we spent time together, we went to the grocery store, I had homework. But from the minute I was headed to school until the sun went down most days I was out in the world by myself.

sixothree 5y ago

Gen X here. I started riding my bike in my neighborhood as soon as my next door neighbor took off the training wheels. It was a small neighborhood with clear boundaries. But as soon as I was 10 and 11 I was leaving to visit friends. I was thinking back recently to one forgotten friend who lived about 1.5 miles away and the pathway I would have taken to his house. It involved crossing two 6-lane divided highways and another Avenue. I was safe and patient. But I would be aghast to see it in action today. When I was 13 and 14 we would take "tours" of the city. Even on foot, I would meet friends and we would start early and walk as far as we could. Then take the bus or call our parents. I love those memories. So much. I loved the city for its shape before I was an adult. And that freedom and those memories have filled me my entire life. And when I started driving I knew how to get to all of the places. Before she died my mother would always tell me "the kids don't play the way you guys used to". We really tore it up.

dmitryminkovsky 5y ago
Sounds awesome, thanks for sharing. Reminded me of this short story by James Joyce called The Encounter [0], (minus the creepy guy). I never did anything like that, and I grew up in the US in the 90s. Typical suburban upbringing, nowhere in particular to go without a car. Were you in the US? [0] https://www.gutenberg.org/files/2814/2814-h/2814-h.htm#chap02 https://www.gutenberg.org/files/2814/2814-h/2814-h.htm#chap0...
- sixothree 5y ago
  This might not come as a surprise but New Orleans. Things were.. different in the 80's here. And for sure we had plenty of run-ins with creeps.
ping_pong 5y ago
I think I was younger than 13 when Back to the Future came out. I saw that 3 times with my friends, and each time we had to travel by bus by ourselves for about 45 mins across town.
kelnos 5y ago
> I was safe and patient. But I would be aghast to see it in action today. Do you think that's because you believe things are less safe now than when you were a kid? Or is it because societal norms around risks & children have changed?