4 ms·

Parents today are overprotective (this includes me!) and don't realize that it actually damages their kids. I was 5-years-old when my parents would just drop me

Parents today are overprotective (this includes me!) and don't realize that it actually damages their kids. I was 5-years-old when my parents would just drop me off to the kindergarten and then I was on my own pretty much the whole day after kindergarten finishes in the afternoon. I would go to different classes kilometers away, crossing roads, etc. and it was common practice. I don't think kids get injured less today than when I was a kid. Also, my parents would send me to the store to buy them beer or cigarettes - all you needed back then to either bring a handwritten note from your parent or for the salesperson to know you and know your parents - I don't drink, I don't smoke. We always underestimate the power of the forbidden fruit! Leaving kids on their own makes them more responsible and independent. I highly recommend Free-Range Kids [0]! [0]: https://www.freerangekids.com/ https://www.freerangekids.com/

akomtu 5y ago
So in essence, the overprotective parents trade their kids' freedom for personal (and egoistical, tbh) peace of mind.
- MeinBlutIstBlau 5y ago
  Which begs the question, why have kids at that point? They're human beings, not instinct driven pets.
  - afarviral 5y ago
    Why have pets? They're not JUST instinct driven beings, either.
  - chairmanwow1 5y ago
    I think the way people view pets is pretty inhumane. It just seems so thoroughly selfish to purchase an animal bred to be provide you joy.
    - MeinBlutIstBlau 5y ago
      I am in the same camp. There was this girl I met on tinder that I always noticed the irony of her rescuing a dog from somewhere only for her to lock it up in a cage for 8-12 hours a day while she is working or partying. It's not right at all.
    - nikolay 5y ago
      I have to agree - maybe outside of dogs, all other pets are not happy. For example, how can "fixing" cats be acceptable?! Just because we don't want to allow cats to mate and inconvenience ourselves, we "fix" them and everybody seems okay with it! How is this not animal cruelty by the book?! Cats grow obese and feel miserable. I've had cats, I let them go in and out, they lived fruitful lives and were not forced to come back, yet, they did. During the mating seasons, of course, they were gone for weeks.
      - potions 5y ago
        why is this different for dogs? I have been bothered at times at just how outside the overton window the idea that animals/pets, dog or cats should be able to e.g. see their parents or children, ever again, falls. I'm not a vegan or a big animal person, but it just isn't talked about.
        nikolay 5y ago
        Well, you're right. Dogs are emotional, and get attached to people and happy, but it's only because they don't realize how miserable they actually are and simply don't know any better. I personally like dog breeds closest to wolves like the German Shepherd. And I pity some of the breeds resulting from ages of selective breeding, which don't even resemble dogs.
      - meristohm 5y ago
        There are so many people, and some of us have cats and dogs. Cats kill a lot of birds (and mice and rats—-maybe a good reason to have a cat on a farm) and don’t give much back to the ecosystem. Cat and dog poop adds pollution to land and waterways if not picked up (some is okay, but it doesn’t scale well). I love our dog and feel this non-human person is family. I’m also sad for him not being free to roam and track down deer, elk, bears, coyotes, and potentially end up injured or dead. We run with him often, set boundaries, share affection, and I’m not sure I want to subject another animal to this captivity after he dies. I’d like to switch to helping the land I’m on be more diverse and robust, with healthier soil, more insects, more birds, more mammals (with measures taken to keep rodents out of the house), and to spend time observing this as a way to get me outside.
  - akomtu 5y ago
    Because peer pressure and because it gives them a sense of accomplishment. And because, well, kids often happen by accident.
    - MeinBlutIstBlau 5y ago
      The first two are very sad honestly and it really doesn't help with a child's psyche if they discover the purpose of their birth was for this reasons. It's almost like your purpose is to become a disappointment specifically because your parents had you as a trophy.
    - nikolay 5y ago
      My son just underwent Sex Ed this year - it was so detailed that I'm sure many adults could learn tons of stuff. Yet, accidents happen, but mostly because we don't educate kids. In the past, I remember my grandparents talking to my sister about these things, and teen pregnancies were much less than now with all the Sex Ed, wide availability of contraceptives, etc.
      - mroset 5y ago
        > teen pregnancies were much less than now with all the Sex Ed, wide availability of contraceptives, etc. While a common perception, that's actually almost entirely false. Teen pregnancies have been dropping pretty steadily for the last ~70 years and they're now almost one quarter the rate of just 30 years ago. Sex ed and availability of contraceptives (especially IUDs) are quite effective at preventing teen pregnancies. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/08/02/why-is-the-teen-birth-rate-falling/ https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/08/02/why-is-the-...
dgritsko 5y ago
In case anyone else didn't make the connection, the author of the linked article (Lenore Skenazy) is also the author of Free-Range Kids.
- nikolay 5y ago
  I did notice and got embarrassed for not paying attention who wrote it.
hallarempt 5y ago
I was a four-year old forty-five years ago. I was walking to my pre-school and back, a couple of blocks and a pretty big and busy street across daily. The cars weren't a problem. Getting mobbed by primary school kids on my way back and getting beaten up was a problem. A bigger problem was when I told my parents the reason I was getting home later and later was because of the detours I was taking to avoid getting beaten up, and they arranged a meeting with me, the beaters-up and their parents and them -- and in the end, it was clearly my fault, I had never been beaten up, and these were all friendly kids, brought up all wholesome. The past wasn't a better place, it just was a place where you didn't talk about being abused, no matter what.
- funcDropShadow 5y ago
  > The past wasn't a better place, it just was a place where you didn't talk about being abused, no matter what. I guess that is true, but an interesting question is: Did the past prepare kids better to become responsible and capable adults?
  - knolax 5y ago
    No. Just look at the boomer generation.
    - TheTrotters 5y ago
      I don’t think there’s anything wrong with them. At least compared to every other generation.
  - hallarempt 5y ago
    No, it just made us into damaged people more likely to damage other people.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- nix23 5y ago
  We had a bully at school and he beat me up 2 times. After that i always had a stone in my pocket, long story short, he had a hole in his skull and never did it again, no consequences for me (apart from a some explanations). But i was 9.

akomtu 5y ago

So in essence, the overprotective parents trade their kids' freedom for personal (and egoistical, tbh) peace of mind.

MeinBlutIstBlau 5y ago
Which begs the question, why have kids at that point? They're human beings, not instinct driven pets.
- afarviral 5y ago
  Why have pets? They're not JUST instinct driven beings, either.
- chairmanwow1 5y ago
  I think the way people view pets is pretty inhumane. It just seems so thoroughly selfish to purchase an animal bred to be provide you joy.
  - MeinBlutIstBlau 5y ago
    I am in the same camp. There was this girl I met on tinder that I always noticed the irony of her rescuing a dog from somewhere only for her to lock it up in a cage for 8-12 hours a day while she is working or partying. It's not right at all.
  - nikolay 5y ago
    I have to agree - maybe outside of dogs, all other pets are not happy. For example, how can "fixing" cats be acceptable?! Just because we don't want to allow cats to mate and inconvenience ourselves, we "fix" them and everybody seems okay with it! How is this not animal cruelty by the book?! Cats grow obese and feel miserable. I've had cats, I let them go in and out, they lived fruitful lives and were not forced to come back, yet, they did. During the mating seasons, of course, they were gone for weeks.
    - potions 5y ago
      why is this different for dogs? I have been bothered at times at just how outside the overton window the idea that animals/pets, dog or cats should be able to e.g. see their parents or children, ever again, falls. I'm not a vegan or a big animal person, but it just isn't talked about.
      - nikolay 5y ago
        Well, you're right. Dogs are emotional, and get attached to people and happy, but it's only because they don't realize how miserable they actually are and simply don't know any better. I personally like dog breeds closest to wolves like the German Shepherd. And I pity some of the breeds resulting from ages of selective breeding, which don't even resemble dogs.
    - meristohm 5y ago
      There are so many people, and some of us have cats and dogs. Cats kill a lot of birds (and mice and rats—-maybe a good reason to have a cat on a farm) and don’t give much back to the ecosystem. Cat and dog poop adds pollution to land and waterways if not picked up (some is okay, but it doesn’t scale well). I love our dog and feel this non-human person is family. I’m also sad for him not being free to roam and track down deer, elk, bears, coyotes, and potentially end up injured or dead. We run with him often, set boundaries, share affection, and I’m not sure I want to subject another animal to this captivity after he dies. I’d like to switch to helping the land I’m on be more diverse and robust, with healthier soil, more insects, more birds, more mammals (with measures taken to keep rodents out of the house), and to spend time observing this as a way to get me outside.
- akomtu 5y ago
  Because peer pressure and because it gives them a sense of accomplishment. And because, well, kids often happen by accident.
  - MeinBlutIstBlau 5y ago
    The first two are very sad honestly and it really doesn't help with a child's psyche if they discover the purpose of their birth was for this reasons. It's almost like your purpose is to become a disappointment specifically because your parents had you as a trophy.
  - nikolay 5y ago
    My son just underwent Sex Ed this year - it was so detailed that I'm sure many adults could learn tons of stuff. Yet, accidents happen, but mostly because we don't educate kids. In the past, I remember my grandparents talking to my sister about these things, and teen pregnancies were much less than now with all the Sex Ed, wide availability of contraceptives, etc.
    - mroset 5y ago
      > teen pregnancies were much less than now with all the Sex Ed, wide availability of contraceptives, etc. While a common perception, that's actually almost entirely false. Teen pregnancies have been dropping pretty steadily for the last ~70 years and they're now almost one quarter the rate of just 30 years ago. Sex ed and availability of contraceptives (especially IUDs) are quite effective at preventing teen pregnancies. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/08/02/why-is-the-teen-birth-rate-falling/ https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/08/02/why-is-the-...

dgritsko 5y ago

In case anyone else didn't make the connection, the author of the linked article (Lenore Skenazy) is also the author of Free-Range Kids.

nikolay 5y ago
I did notice and got embarrassed for not paying attention who wrote it.

hallarempt 5y ago

I was a four-year old forty-five years ago. I was walking to my pre-school and back, a couple of blocks and a pretty big and busy street across daily. The cars weren't a problem. Getting mobbed by primary school kids on my way back and getting beaten up was a problem. A bigger problem was when I told my parents the reason I was getting home later and later was because of the detours I was taking to avoid getting beaten up, and they arranged a meeting with me, the beaters-up and their parents and them -- and in the end, it was clearly my fault, I had never been beaten up, and these were all friendly kids, brought up all wholesome. The past wasn't a better place, it just was a place where you didn't talk about being abused, no matter what.

funcDropShadow 5y ago
> The past wasn't a better place, it just was a place where you didn't talk about being abused, no matter what. I guess that is true, but an interesting question is: Did the past prepare kids better to become responsible and capable adults?
- knolax 5y ago
  No. Just look at the boomer generation.
  - TheTrotters 5y ago
    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with them. At least compared to every other generation.
- hallarempt 5y ago
  No, it just made us into damaged people more likely to damage other people.
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
nix23 5y ago
We had a bully at school and he beat me up 2 times. After that i always had a stone in my pocket, long story short, he had a hole in his skull and never did it again, no consequences for me (apart from a some explanations). But i was 9.