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“When you help others, they often help you.” But also “Stop keeping score” … “Never keep score.”. You can’t ever know if the first statement is true without k
by z5h 5y ago
“When you help others, they often help you.”
But also “Stop keeping score” … “Never keep score.”.
You can’t ever know if the first statement is true without keeping score.
In other words: to get the things you want, convince yourself and others you are being selfless then ask them for stuff.
Anyone who is interested in helping people out truly selflessly can secretly send me money on a regular basis, and I’ll make sure it goes to people who need it and take credit for it. You can be helping and not keeping score just like the book suggested.
Wait… to get the book or a course or coaching I need to pay first? Oh I see… it’s “give me exactly this much stuff first, so I can tell you how you should never do that.”
- UbrtrbNchDneRle 5y agoThis type of “advice” never was free, but I feel like since about mid 2020 the economy of fictional goods exploded. E.g. everyone and their pony got a monetized podcast now, teasing you with access to their mental production. I really hope this isn’t driven by necessity, but boredom, or I fear we are heading for a major crisis. I don’t see how the economy can sustain this much bullshit. Liebe. Freiheit. Ad nauseam.
- hypertele-Xii 5y agoFailing to keep score has gotten me robbed and conned. Definitely keep score. Not exact score, but when your "friend" asks you for a loan, do consider if they paid off the previous one.
- BeetleB 5y agoYeah - loved the book but this one was hard to swallow. I agree with him in one sense[1], but not to the extreme. At some point in your life your time and resources will be quite constrained, and you simply can't help everyone. You need to strategize who to help, and identifying "leeches" requires some level of score keeping. I've certainly had multiple people speak ill of me to others saying that I stopped trying to connect with them. They fail to mention that in the last N years, they never connected with me. It was always me initiating the phone call/email, etc. And I can say that definitively only because I had phone and email records going back years. Simple thing to script. (BTW, not recommending you stop calling people because they never call you - merely illustrating people's lousy behavior in response to it). [1] You're always going to have to give a lot more than you receive. Networking is fundamentally very inefficient, if you make this a metric.
- z5h 5y agoI wouldn't mind the message if it were delivered a bit more honestly. Maybe: do some favours to folks before you need any in return... then don't be shy about asking for help when you need it... especially from those you've done favours for (and their peers and family). But don't expect help in return from everyone.