I live in a poorer part of a rich city and even things like playdates for kids are difficult to arrange because people have been conditioned to fear this part o

I live in a poorer part of a rich city and even things like playdates for kids are difficult to arrange because people have been conditioned to fear this part of the city. "It's too far" is a common excuse, but the same parents are driving twice as far to hang out with other people in the group (but don't you dare point that out!). I was slightly aware of this social isolation before having kids, but you could mostly navigate it by learning what you couldn't talk about. Innocuous things poorer people talk about, like expensive housing, gentrification, problems with extended family, fixing your own apartment/house, foodstamps, my childhood... bring any of that stuff up and it's like you suddenly have two heads. That always made me feel shameful about growing up poor... but navigating that stuff while trying to interact with my kids' friends' parents has become outright infuriating. I live in a nice little house in a quiet neighborhood and because of my zip code it might as well be a leper colony. If you mention any of this you get ostracized in such a polite way you could almost be convinced that they're doing you a favor.