5 ms·

What do you mean? A lot of my friends and I gained independence at 18, and it was liberating for us. Not sure what disaster was supposed to ensue.

MisterBastahrd 5y ago
I'm sure you're really special. Most 18 year olds aren't remotely ready for complete isolation from their parents, though.
- maccard 5y ago
  I moved out at 18. I still remember phoning my dad about 3 months later panicking because I didn't realise that my gas and electricity bills were two separate things that had to be paid. I was independent, buyi was definitely not ready for isolation.
- Grustaf 5y ago
  Just as a counterpoint, moving out at 18 is the norm here in the Nordics, living with your parents when you're 22 is considered weird.
  - MisterBastahrd 5y ago
    That's not a counterpoint. We're talking about the US here. Most 18 year olds do not have the ability to acquire their own healthcare AND afford their own housing. Even aside from that, when a young person starts a family for the first time, they often lean on their parents for advice because this is life experience they don't have and there are plenty of issues that someone without that experience would not anticipate. This person did not revoke financial support from her kids. She revoked emotional support from them.
    - Grustaf 5y ago
      Sorry, but are we talking about finance or emotions? You're saying it's different in the US because of health care costs, but go on to say that she didn't revoke financial support, so finance seems a moot point. With regards to emotional support, it sounds like her youngest child was close to 30, so I don't think that's a big issue. Of course it's nice to have contact with your mother even if you're 30, but it's a bit rich to suggest she "abandoned" her grown children. Presumably she discussed it with them first. And most likely the kids married people that had at least one parent to get parenting advice from.
      - MisterBastahrd 5y ago
        Since when has parenting been merely transactional? 30 year olds routinely get advice from parents as they progress through life. The entire world is largely better off for it. Wisdom is something best taken in small doses as required.
        Grustaf 5y ago
        Of course it’s not transactional, that’s why i said that it’s nice to have a good relationship with your parents even as a grown up. My only point is that it’s absurd to talk about “abandoning your children” when these children are close to and over 30!
ironmagma 5y ago
Independence yes, but complete independence in every way? Of course not. There is an offramping period, and for many, the benefits of familial bonds continue throughout life including things like a safety net in case you lose your job.

MisterBastahrd 5y ago

I'm sure you're really special. Most 18 year olds aren't remotely ready for complete isolation from their parents, though.

maccard 5y ago
I moved out at 18. I still remember phoning my dad about 3 months later panicking because I didn't realise that my gas and electricity bills were two separate things that had to be paid. I was independent, buyi was definitely not ready for isolation.
Grustaf 5y ago
Just as a counterpoint, moving out at 18 is the norm here in the Nordics, living with your parents when you're 22 is considered weird.
- MisterBastahrd 5y ago
  That's not a counterpoint. We're talking about the US here. Most 18 year olds do not have the ability to acquire their own healthcare AND afford their own housing. Even aside from that, when a young person starts a family for the first time, they often lean on their parents for advice because this is life experience they don't have and there are plenty of issues that someone without that experience would not anticipate. This person did not revoke financial support from her kids. She revoked emotional support from them.
  - Grustaf 5y ago
    Sorry, but are we talking about finance or emotions? You're saying it's different in the US because of health care costs, but go on to say that she didn't revoke financial support, so finance seems a moot point. With regards to emotional support, it sounds like her youngest child was close to 30, so I don't think that's a big issue. Of course it's nice to have contact with your mother even if you're 30, but it's a bit rich to suggest she "abandoned" her grown children. Presumably she discussed it with them first. And most likely the kids married people that had at least one parent to get parenting advice from.
    - MisterBastahrd 5y ago
      Since when has parenting been merely transactional? 30 year olds routinely get advice from parents as they progress through life. The entire world is largely better off for it. Wisdom is something best taken in small doses as required.
      - Grustaf 5y ago
        Of course it’s not transactional, that’s why i said that it’s nice to have a good relationship with your parents even as a grown up. My only point is that it’s absurd to talk about “abandoning your children” when these children are close to and over 30!

ironmagma 5y ago

Independence yes, but complete independence in every way? Of course not. There is an offramping period, and for many, the benefits of familial bonds continue throughout life including things like a safety net in case you lose your job.