5 ms·

Eh, my mom's not 60 yet - but I wouldn't be mad at her if she did something like this (not that she ever would). I think parents are entitled to be individuals,

Eh, my mom's not 60 yet - but I wouldn't be mad at her if she did something like this (not that she ever would). I think parents are entitled to be individuals, especially if they've already fulfilled the core parental duties of raising their own children. They don't owe their kids anything else after that.

MisterBastahrd 5y ago
Parents have a responsibility when they create a child that doesn't disappear simply because that kid becomes an adult. If every 18 year old on the planet were left to their own devices, it would be an absolute disaster.
- CalRobert 5y ago
  Or, as a counterpoint, no they don't. 18 year olds are adults.
  - MisterBastahrd 5y ago
    That isn't a counterpoint, and it's frankly ridiculous given any sort of actual consideration of the modern world.
    - CalRobert 5y ago
      Ok, when are people grown up?
      - deleted 5y ago
        [deleted]
      - robbintt 5y ago
        They don't. But we often put on a good show.
- decremental 5y ago
  I generally agree. Though we've sort of swung in the opposite direction it seems where parents will fail to instill an upbringing that doesn't end up with their kids being 35 and still at home. Also an absolute disaster by my estimation.
- iammisc 5y ago
  Catholic monastic orders aren't going to accept parents unless they can demonstrate they've already performed their religious duties to children. My guess would be the children were okay with it, and she had to show the order. Given her previous occupation, I doubt her children were left materially wanting
- treyfitty 5y ago
  What do you mean? A lot of my friends and I gained independence at 18, and it was liberating for us. Not sure what disaster was supposed to ensue.
  - MisterBastahrd 5y ago
    I'm sure you're really special. Most 18 year olds aren't remotely ready for complete isolation from their parents, though.
    - maccard 5y ago
      I moved out at 18. I still remember phoning my dad about 3 months later panicking because I didn't realise that my gas and electricity bills were two separate things that had to be paid. I was independent, buyi was definitely not ready for isolation.
    - Grustaf 5y ago
      Just as a counterpoint, moving out at 18 is the norm here in the Nordics, living with your parents when you're 22 is considered weird.
      - MisterBastahrd 5y ago
        That's not a counterpoint. We're talking about the US here. Most 18 year olds do not have the ability to acquire their own healthcare AND afford their own housing. Even aside from that, when a young person starts a family for the first time, they often lean on their parents for advice because this is life experience they don't have and there are plenty of issues that someone without that experience would not anticipate. This person did not revoke financial support from her kids. She revoked emotional support from them.
        Grustaf 5y ago
        Sorry, but are we talking about finance or emotions? You're saying it's different in the US because of health care costs, but go on to say that she didn't revoke financial support, so finance seems a moot point. With regards to emotional support, it sounds like her youngest child was close to 30, so I don't think that's a big issue. Of course it's nice to have contact with your mother even if you're 30, but it's a bit rich to suggest she "abandoned" her grown children. Presumably she discussed it with them first. And most likely the kids married people that had at least one parent to get parenting advice from.
- toast0 5y ago
  She did disappear, but if her kids were all doing fine, and the kids each had 9 siblings to turn of in case of trouble, I think she did her parental duty, and so why should she not follow her calling? It sounds like she considered it for five years, most likely in communication with her children, and then decided to go ahead with the plan. Of the many things one could decide to do at age 60, this one doesn't sound too bad.
- Torwald 5y ago
  How does society help parents of 18 year olds with that tasks? I see expensive college and unlike it used to be it is nowadays an open question wether you will recoup the cost. Military recruiters trying to "get" your kids. In some countries you can get paid therapy via health care.
  - randomdata 5y ago
    When did you ever recoup your cost? Incomes held stagnant through the rise of college attainment, which means that there was no increase in pay to cover the cost.
- splithalf 5y ago
  Rich parents are very different. Imagine sending your children off to boarding school! But that’s seen as perfectly normal in rich people culture, and has been for centuries.

MisterBastahrd 5y ago

Parents have a responsibility when they create a child that doesn't disappear simply because that kid becomes an adult. If every 18 year old on the planet were left to their own devices, it would be an absolute disaster.

CalRobert 5y ago
Or, as a counterpoint, no they don't. 18 year olds are adults.
- MisterBastahrd 5y ago
  That isn't a counterpoint, and it's frankly ridiculous given any sort of actual consideration of the modern world.
  - CalRobert 5y ago
    Ok, when are people grown up?
    - deleted 5y ago
      [deleted]
    - robbintt 5y ago
      They don't. But we often put on a good show.
decremental 5y ago
I generally agree. Though we've sort of swung in the opposite direction it seems where parents will fail to instill an upbringing that doesn't end up with their kids being 35 and still at home. Also an absolute disaster by my estimation.
iammisc 5y ago
Catholic monastic orders aren't going to accept parents unless they can demonstrate they've already performed their religious duties to children. My guess would be the children were okay with it, and she had to show the order. Given her previous occupation, I doubt her children were left materially wanting
treyfitty 5y ago
What do you mean? A lot of my friends and I gained independence at 18, and it was liberating for us. Not sure what disaster was supposed to ensue.
- MisterBastahrd 5y ago
  I'm sure you're really special. Most 18 year olds aren't remotely ready for complete isolation from their parents, though.
  - maccard 5y ago
    I moved out at 18. I still remember phoning my dad about 3 months later panicking because I didn't realise that my gas and electricity bills were two separate things that had to be paid. I was independent, buyi was definitely not ready for isolation.
  - Grustaf 5y ago
    Just as a counterpoint, moving out at 18 is the norm here in the Nordics, living with your parents when you're 22 is considered weird.
    - MisterBastahrd 5y ago
      That's not a counterpoint. We're talking about the US here. Most 18 year olds do not have the ability to acquire their own healthcare AND afford their own housing. Even aside from that, when a young person starts a family for the first time, they often lean on their parents for advice because this is life experience they don't have and there are plenty of issues that someone without that experience would not anticipate. This person did not revoke financial support from her kids. She revoked emotional support from them.
      - Grustaf 5y ago
        Sorry, but are we talking about finance or emotions? You're saying it's different in the US because of health care costs, but go on to say that she didn't revoke financial support, so finance seems a moot point. With regards to emotional support, it sounds like her youngest child was close to 30, so I don't think that's a big issue. Of course it's nice to have contact with your mother even if you're 30, but it's a bit rich to suggest she "abandoned" her grown children. Presumably she discussed it with them first. And most likely the kids married people that had at least one parent to get parenting advice from.
toast0 5y ago
She did disappear, but if her kids were all doing fine, and the kids each had 9 siblings to turn of in case of trouble, I think she did her parental duty, and so why should she not follow her calling? It sounds like she considered it for five years, most likely in communication with her children, and then decided to go ahead with the plan. Of the many things one could decide to do at age 60, this one doesn't sound too bad.
Torwald 5y ago
How does society help parents of 18 year olds with that tasks? I see expensive college and unlike it used to be it is nowadays an open question wether you will recoup the cost. Military recruiters trying to "get" your kids. In some countries you can get paid therapy via health care.
- randomdata 5y ago
  When did you ever recoup your cost? Incomes held stagnant through the rise of college attainment, which means that there was no increase in pay to cover the cost.
splithalf 5y ago
Rich parents are very different. Imagine sending your children off to boarding school! But that’s seen as perfectly normal in rich people culture, and has been for centuries.