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I'm not torn at all. I find it reprehensible, and I am genuinely surprised that more of the comments here don't find that behavior horrible. There is nothing

I'm not torn at all. I find it reprehensible, and I am genuinely surprised that more of the comments here don't find that behavior horrible. There is nothing noble about having 10 kids, then cutting them out of your life once their other parent died. I mean, wtf.

typhonic 5y ago
I don't know that we have enough information to judge her. I mean, she was a socialite; how close was she to her children? And, after all, she left each of them with nine siblings. I wish I had nine lifelong friends.
- Baeocystin 5y ago
  I'm pretty comfortable judging the act of excising all of one's (ten!) children from one's life as being a shitty thing to do. Even other cloistered orders allow letter-writing, and there are semi-cloistered orders where family can come visit any time. There is nothing about the act of becoming a nun that mandated her cutting of her connections to her children.
- ljm 5y ago
  Why do we need to judge her at all? I can only sympathise with the socialite renouncing the society that continues to criticise them; which in much of this entire thread amounts to judging her for not dedicating her entire life to motherhood. Her grown-ass children will either be happy for her, or they'll be mourning their loss. Or maybe a mix of both. But they'll deal and life will go on.
nyokodo 5y ago
> I find it reprehensible I would imagine most people wouldn’t judge her if she was a firefighter who died in the line of duty because she “could have chosen a safer job.” This is because people generally appreciate this kind of sacrifice. Your attitude is based on the assumption that her sacrifice wasn’t worthwhile, well she thought it was and Catholics think it was. Her children were grown, she felt a calling from God, and ultimately it was her life.
- Baeocystin 5y ago
  Firefighters actively invest in and protect their communities. Her choice was in diametric opposition- the complete severing of human ties outside of her own small world, even of those to her children. I do not think this is a noble action. Certainly some will disagree with me. So be it, then we disagree.
- futevolei 5y ago
  I think this is the key point. My take on this situation is completely colored by my anti-religious views. I view her sacrifice as completely idiotic and worthless. But it’s clear she needed to do this. I can fake a lot of stuff for some amount of time for whatever particular reason- think along the lines of showing support for my wife. But I can’t sacrifice what she did for 3 decades without having that flame deep inside.
watwut 5y ago
I just cant find interpretation in which your outrage makes sense. 60 years old person leaving for monastery is somehow outrageous abandonment of her 30 years old offspring. I dont know whether this is being edgy contrarian or sexism in which women dont get to make choices for themselve. HN contains plenty of those. But projecting 5 years old thinking into her adult children is uttery absurd. Especially since I have never seen outrage over literally anyone else not being involved or leave for long or risks death when his kids are small.
- Baeocystin 5y ago
  Respectfully, it is neither of the presented options. Something to keep in mind: I am the one who posted my opinion. Not the nebulous Hacker News gestalt. I, speaking just for myself, find parents willfully rejecting all of their children, at any age, to be ugly across the board. I would say the same if it had been the husband fleeing to a Monastic order, and I would say the same about (for example) Jobs' treatment of his first daughter. I know we all form general ideas of how any particular forum will think. Boards have moods. But if we allow ourselves to see that impression as a person, of course we will be annoyed at the perceived inconsistencies and hypocrisies. But that is a false impression- those would only hold true if it were an single individual making such varied claims.

typhonic 5y ago

I don't know that we have enough information to judge her. I mean, she was a socialite; how close was she to her children? And, after all, she left each of them with nine siblings. I wish I had nine lifelong friends.

Baeocystin 5y ago
I'm pretty comfortable judging the act of excising all of one's (ten!) children from one's life as being a shitty thing to do. Even other cloistered orders allow letter-writing, and there are semi-cloistered orders where family can come visit any time. There is nothing about the act of becoming a nun that mandated her cutting of her connections to her children.
ljm 5y ago
Why do we need to judge her at all? I can only sympathise with the socialite renouncing the society that continues to criticise them; which in much of this entire thread amounts to judging her for not dedicating her entire life to motherhood. Her grown-ass children will either be happy for her, or they'll be mourning their loss. Or maybe a mix of both. But they'll deal and life will go on.

nyokodo 5y ago

> I find it reprehensible I would imagine most people wouldn’t judge her if she was a firefighter who died in the line of duty because she “could have chosen a safer job.” This is because people generally appreciate this kind of sacrifice. Your attitude is based on the assumption that her sacrifice wasn’t worthwhile, well she thought it was and Catholics think it was. Her children were grown, she felt a calling from God, and ultimately it was her life.

Baeocystin 5y ago
Firefighters actively invest in and protect their communities. Her choice was in diametric opposition- the complete severing of human ties outside of her own small world, even of those to her children. I do not think this is a noble action. Certainly some will disagree with me. So be it, then we disagree.
futevolei 5y ago
I think this is the key point. My take on this situation is completely colored by my anti-religious views. I view her sacrifice as completely idiotic and worthless. But it’s clear she needed to do this. I can fake a lot of stuff for some amount of time for whatever particular reason- think along the lines of showing support for my wife. But I can’t sacrifice what she did for 3 decades without having that flame deep inside.

watwut 5y ago

I just cant find interpretation in which your outrage makes sense. 60 years old person leaving for monastery is somehow outrageous abandonment of her 30 years old offspring. I dont know whether this is being edgy contrarian or sexism in which women dont get to make choices for themselve. HN contains plenty of those. But projecting 5 years old thinking into her adult children is uttery absurd. Especially since I have never seen outrage over literally anyone else not being involved or leave for long or risks death when his kids are small.

Baeocystin 5y ago
Respectfully, it is neither of the presented options. Something to keep in mind: I am the one who posted my opinion. Not the nebulous Hacker News gestalt. I, speaking just for myself, find parents willfully rejecting all of their children, at any age, to be ugly across the board. I would say the same if it had been the husband fleeing to a Monastic order, and I would say the same about (for example) Jobs' treatment of his first daughter. I know we all form general ideas of how any particular forum will think. Boards have moods. But if we allow ourselves to see that impression as a person, of course we will be annoyed at the perceived inconsistencies and hypocrisies. But that is a false impression- those would only hold true if it were an single individual making such varied claims.