There's also an obvious selection bias - the matches may be sending low quality messages, but if women are largely selecting only the top 2% of good looking me

There's also an obvious selection bias - the matches may be sending low quality messages, but if women are largely selecting only the top 2% of good looking men they're skewing these results themselves. The 'better' men never get to the messaging stage at all. I'm happy to be out of the game, but online dating is bleak for 98% of men. Okcupid used to have great data on this before they sold out, a lot of it ended up in this book:https://www.amazon.com/Dataclysm-Identity-What-Online-Offline-Selves/dp/0385347391 https://www.amazon.com/Dataclysm-Identity-What-Online-Offlin... The data in that book corroborates a lot of this. We're not that different from gorillas - sexual selection is tough and most of the discussion around it ranges from wrong to dishonest.