4 ms·
As a happily married man in his late 20s, I really stress not doing this. You skip an entire small lifetime of not finding someone and growing up through your y
by andrewmcwatters 5y ago
As a happily married man in his late 20s, I really stress not doing this. You skip an entire small lifetime of not finding someone and growing up through your young adulthood, waiting for things to improve for you as a man (read: for women to finally come around because of divorce, settling, or their biological clock ticking) and I'd argue things at that point would be more difficult.
Because you then have established so much of who you are independent of the interactions between yourself and a who-would-be spouse, there's a greater chance that you'll have even more to disagree over.
You're only creating more difficulties for yourself. Beyond the intricacies of a crystallized person, there's a smaller dating pool, it's more difficult to get pregnant, you have a greater difficulty acquiring assets not having another person you're working together through life with.
Yes, those women in their 20s will want to date you, but if you're in your 30s, you're effectively dating a kid. They absolutely do not have the same experiences you will have at that point in time unless you did no personal growth for a decade.
- clpm4j 5y agoI agree with you that this route probably isn't best for _most_ men, which is why I said that it makes "some" sense, but I should have clarified that it's not broadly advisable (even by someone like myself who took this route). If you aren't very comfortable with who you are by yourself, and happy with yourself, and also very focused and determined to do something quite ambitious professionally, then yes I think finding a partner to grow with and lean on is the best route. And also as I mentioned below but just to make sure it's clear: if you aren't comfortable dating, then you should date as often as you can because it can be genuinely fun and fulfilling and lead to very positive outcomes. If you _are_ comfortable dating and do well with the opposite sex of your preference, but just aren't satisfied with what's out there or it feels forced and unenjoyable, then you _might_ benefit from focusing more on developing yourself rather than focusing on the partner search. It's a cliche but once you're truly in a good place with yourself, you tend to attract to the right people into your life.
- epicureanideal 5y ago> you have a greater difficulty acquiring assets not having another person you're working together through life with. Temporarily. Then you divorce and lose all of those assets. It’s not a gamble I would recommend based on expected financial gains for sure.
- Mirioron 5y agoOne alternative is that they just become jaded by their failures by the time they're in their 30s. At that point it would be fairly trivial for them to give up on all of it.
- HKH2 5y agoBingo. The dating world seems ridiculous until you understand what hypergamy is and why it exists.