5 ms·
"Too eager, too indifferent, too clingy, too distant, etc... you're gonna be terribly out of practice at it all." These are generally personality traits of som
by clpm4j 5y ago
"Too eager, too indifferent, too clingy, too distant, etc... you're gonna be terribly out of practice at it all."
These are generally personality traits of someone who is not well adjusted. If you are the type of person who can become professionally and personally (think friendships and any other non-sexual relationship) successful, then you'll probably be fine jumping back into the dating pool even if you've only dabbled casually for a pretty long period of time.
- majormajor 5y agoHow you're perceived isn't always going to be the same as how you are, and people make judgements quickly. Actions only come naturally through repeated practice, barring a naturally lucky few, and dating requires a whole different set of actions than in other relationships. You might also quite reasonably be confident in your professional and personal-friend lives, but be lacking some of that confidence in dating, since you haven't done it for years. These aren't transferable domains for a lot of people. I was on dating sites and apps for several years before I started having any luck finding much, much less something serious, and every moment of it was valuable practice in an area that didn't come naturally to me at all. My career situation also improved throughout those years, sometimes faster than my dating skills, and I quickly learned that having a nicer car did me 0 favors while I was still uncomfortable on a date in the first place. None of that professional practice applied - was I going to talk about load balancers and HA strategies on the date?
- clpm4j 5y agoI don't disagree and I think I should have clarified that if you're the type of young man who has trouble dating (in the sense that you find yourself to be awkward, or have mostly bad dates), and can't seem to connect with women, then do NOT do what I have suggested here. Get out there and take a lot of swings.
- tacocataco 5y agoI appreciate your comments. I've had a long string of failures after starting dating (Post covid vaccine) and just felt so incapable of being next to another person. It's like all this time quarantined as put my dating skills back to zero (not that they were ever good). I feel so broken, like shards of glass that cuts anyone who tries to touch me. But you have inspired to to once again glue all my broken shards together and try and try again. Thank you.