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Well, I cannot speak for Tinder, but you have probably seen the stats from the now-deleted OKCupid blogs. I worked in a dating service pre-Intarwebs and the dy

Well, I cannot speak for Tinder, but you have probably seen the stats from the now-deleted OKCupid blogs. I worked in a dating service pre-Intarwebs and the dynamics are almost exactly the same, just lacking only the "instant" factor of the Internet, plus the rather expanded pool. As someone who entered people's "preferences" versus their "must-haves," certain trends emerged. To be politic about it, those trends did not favor men.

mkmk2 5y ago
As someone who's been exposed to the stats more than most of us (I assume, pre-web dating service), do you have any particular insights? Have you thought about what one could do to address this mismatch since? I was fortunate to find my s.o. on a language exchange site, but if I felt my best options were something from the Match Group... it looks grim
- at_a_remove 5y ago
  No solutions, I am afraid, that do not involve large-scale genetic engineering. In the parlance of our times, dudes are generally "thirstier." On top of it, you can call it genetics or you can call it culture, but ... men make the approach, typically. (Okay, I am done with generally and typically and trends for now) This leads to guys spamming some entirely-too-fussy gals and the usual dynamics emerging. You've read the grim confessions of women who remorselessly admit to "dating for dinner." You've seen the baiting performed using the photo of a male model who can say simply the most awful and outrageous things. The Heightism user might have been banned on Twitter but others have emerged like the heads of hydras, reposting the casually cruel dismissal of men under six foot. It's only the basic thirstiness that drives men to even continue, and I suspect that a lot of young men opt out, because that's just step one. They're looking at their often-divorced parents and remembering who got the house, then wondering if the game is worth the candle. I suspect the men at the intersection of easily disheartened and generally aware have been most put off, leaving the field to the exuberant and the blessed. And remember, we are currently in a culture that doesn't seem to like men very much. Just for a giggle, go to Google, type "men are" and see what the autocomplete suggests, then do "women are." That has to add to more of the disenchantment.
  - Raptor22 5y ago
    You weren't kidding about Google, damn...
    - at_a_remove 5y ago
      Now go look at their doodles for Mother's Day and compare them to Father's Day. Historically, I mean.
  - uncletammy 5y ago
    Enlightening commentary. Thanks for sharing it.
  - naveen99 5y ago
    Regarding heightism: the market finds the price. The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man. If a woman or even an employer is willing to give up iq points for height, it’s their loss. Markets don’t care for prejudice.

mkmk2 5y ago

As someone who's been exposed to the stats more than most of us (I assume, pre-web dating service), do you have any particular insights? Have you thought about what one could do to address this mismatch since? I was fortunate to find my s.o. on a language exchange site, but if I felt my best options were something from the Match Group... it looks grim

at_a_remove 5y ago
No solutions, I am afraid, that do not involve large-scale genetic engineering. In the parlance of our times, dudes are generally "thirstier." On top of it, you can call it genetics or you can call it culture, but ... men make the approach, typically. (Okay, I am done with generally and typically and trends for now) This leads to guys spamming some entirely-too-fussy gals and the usual dynamics emerging. You've read the grim confessions of women who remorselessly admit to "dating for dinner." You've seen the baiting performed using the photo of a male model who can say simply the most awful and outrageous things. The Heightism user might have been banned on Twitter but others have emerged like the heads of hydras, reposting the casually cruel dismissal of men under six foot. It's only the basic thirstiness that drives men to even continue, and I suspect that a lot of young men opt out, because that's just step one. They're looking at their often-divorced parents and remembering who got the house, then wondering if the game is worth the candle. I suspect the men at the intersection of easily disheartened and generally aware have been most put off, leaving the field to the exuberant and the blessed. And remember, we are currently in a culture that doesn't seem to like men very much. Just for a giggle, go to Google, type "men are" and see what the autocomplete suggests, then do "women are." That has to add to more of the disenchantment.
- Raptor22 5y ago
  You weren't kidding about Google, damn...
  - at_a_remove 5y ago
    Now go look at their doodles for Mother's Day and compare them to Father's Day. Historically, I mean.
- uncletammy 5y ago
  Enlightening commentary. Thanks for sharing it.
- naveen99 5y ago
  Regarding heightism: the market finds the price. The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man. If a woman or even an employer is willing to give up iq points for height, it’s their loss. Markets don’t care for prejudice.