7 ms·

That’s because the internet is no longer a walk through the woods. It’s now a stumble through a confusing poorly-lit casino.

alistairSH 5y ago
Well said. 100% agreement. Last year, I found myself in an unusually unhappy place. Partly COVID lockdowns, partly changes at work, partly politics (US resident). My wife noticed and told me to get off Facebook/Twitter/etc - they were making me visibly agitated. As I weaned myself off those platforms, my happiness and stress levels improved. I'm glad to be (mostly) off the platforms. It's been a massive improvement. Facebook was the biggest culprit. I unfriended anybody I didn't know in meatspace. I unfollowed anybody I hadn't spoken to live in a year or more. My feed is now mostly photos my parents post, a few cycling groups, plus some marketplace activity. I no longer feel the need to check daily (or more) - once a week is plenty. I do find I use Instagram more now. But, because it's "just photos", it doesn't stress me out like Facebook. Twitter only gets visited when somebody links me to an interesting thread from elsewhere (here or other forums). I never go on my own.
- Applejinx 5y ago
  I outright deleted Facebook and Twitter (or at least, my established profiles on 'em, to the best of my ability). Also ditched Instagram while I was at it, as I felt like I 'should' post stuff to it, not because the things I saw there were bothering me. I made a twitter account specifically to not have any friends and not do anything, and treat it the same way you're treating it. Same reaction: it's been a massive improvement. I wouldn't go back. Looking at that stuff from the outside now, it feels like a trap. Amazing how they can turn making you miserable, into an addictive behavior. We are apparently, as a species, more driven by panic than pleasure, and the algorithm optimizes for this.
- TheRealDunkirk 5y ago
  > Facebook was the biggest culprit. I unfriended anybody I didn't know in meatspace. I stopped using it because I was getting cross-ways with people I otherwise highly respected, over political comments which invited open disagreement. I didn't want to be at odds with these people, but Facebook has designed the service to facilitate this, and has engineered the degradation of personal relationships because of it. That's strike one. We all know how to avoid difficult conversations in real life, because we can feel them creeping up on us, and we change the subject. On social media, you state the whole argument, and then people feel free to do the same, and put their spin on it. For thousands of years, people have ebbed and flowed through life, met new people, and stopped seeing others. A very large part of the problem with Facebook is that it destroys this natural flow of life, and tempts you to connect with every human being you've ever said 2 words to, and then keep that connection forever. That's strike two. When you compare this situation to how humans have lived for thousands of years, it's an almost-grotesque abrogation of the natural order of things. There are relationships that SHOULD fade away, and others you should ACTIVELY eliminate once you know where they really stand. All social media platforms are designed to treat your follower number as the end-all-be-all sacred metric. I don't have a strike three. That was enough for me.
  - potatolicious 5y ago
    Couldn't agree more - I still have FB but honestly time on it just makes me more agitated than happy, and I should really just get off of it completely. FB's problem is fundamental in the way that you described but I'd add a few points to it: Not only does FB artificially try to revive relationships that have run their course (and also gives all of these past relationships permanent access to your thoughts), IMO FB fundamentally misunderstands "connection" - that or they understand it fine but are utterly cynical about it. In what way is mindlessly thumbing through a high school classmate's wedding photos "connecting" people? People who you haven't spoken to in a decade or more? The primary uses of FB seem to be passively perusing the musings of people you don't care much about, which despite what FB PR insists, isn't making me care much more about them. The FB news feed is one of the least social things I can think of! It is consumed passively, nearly always by yourself, and doesn't actually create any interaction between myself and others besides simple "likes". I keep waiting for the arrival of social networks that actually meet their own lofty claims - software that actually facilitates the development of meaningful relationships.
    - TheRealDunkirk 5y ago
      > In what way is mindlessly thumbing through a high school classmate's wedding photos "connecting" people? People who you haven't spoken to in a decade or more? I'll do you one better. I deleted my account back in 2016, in the run-up to Trump's election (cause I just didn't want to hear it). Just before I did, there was a whole rash of connection requests from my high school classmates. Facebook blasted out that one person had re-connected with me, and a dozen others suddenly thought that would be a good idea too. I graduated THIRTY years ago, and hadn't spoken to ANY of the others since. Most of the requests were coming from people I wouldn't even have called friends AT THE TIME. That's just not normal, but on Facebook it is!
- TylerE 5y ago
  > I unfriended anybody I didn't know in meatspace I use Facebook basically the exact opposite way. I don't friend anyone I interact with on a regular basis (family, coworkers, neighbors), and use it exclusively for people I don't have another good way to keep up with - people I've met while traveling, people into the same niche hobbies, that sort of thing...
sodality2 5y ago
Reminds me of the song, "Welcome to the Internet": "Could I interest you in everything All of the time A bit of everything All of the time Apathy's a tragedy And boredom is a crime Anything and everything All of the time"
- welfvh 5y ago
  Excerpt from a poetry slam I did 2 years ago: What are we paying, when we're paying attention? We pay with what we could've done and what we could've learned. We pay with the people we could've met, and the conversations we could have had. We pay with every future us, that we could've been, We pay with the values we did not live by, We pay with the goals we did not reach, We pay with every opportunity to become more fully alive, that is now gone. We pay with the moments of joy that never happened, We pay with the peaceful sleep, and the refreshed feeling in the morning, that we didn't get. Because we were busy paying... attention.
  - TheRealDunkirk 5y ago
    I regret that I have but one upvote to give to this comment.
- handrous 5y ago
  This features in Bo Burnham's latest comedy special (though with Burnham, maybe comedy belongs in scare-quotes, since his last two specials have leaned much harder on wry commentary than actual laugh-out-loud humor) produced largely on his own and filmed almost entirely in what looks to be a one-room guest house of his. It's on Netflix and I'm sure the part with that song is on YouTube somewhere (hahaha).
  - sodality2 5y ago
    Yep- it's totally different from his previous work but I absolutely loved it. Especially "Welcome to the Internet", because I can see firsthand what the song is about. Here's the video on Bo Burnham's own channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1BneeJTDcU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1BneeJTDcU
welfvh 5y ago
We'll make a wall with attention poetry and this will be on it
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]

alistairSH 5y ago

Well said. 100% agreement. Last year, I found myself in an unusually unhappy place. Partly COVID lockdowns, partly changes at work, partly politics (US resident). My wife noticed and told me to get off Facebook/Twitter/etc - they were making me visibly agitated. As I weaned myself off those platforms, my happiness and stress levels improved. I'm glad to be (mostly) off the platforms. It's been a massive improvement. Facebook was the biggest culprit. I unfriended anybody I didn't know in meatspace. I unfollowed anybody I hadn't spoken to live in a year or more. My feed is now mostly photos my parents post, a few cycling groups, plus some marketplace activity. I no longer feel the need to check daily (or more) - once a week is plenty. I do find I use Instagram more now. But, because it's "just photos", it doesn't stress me out like Facebook. Twitter only gets visited when somebody links me to an interesting thread from elsewhere (here or other forums). I never go on my own.

Applejinx 5y ago
I outright deleted Facebook and Twitter (or at least, my established profiles on 'em, to the best of my ability). Also ditched Instagram while I was at it, as I felt like I 'should' post stuff to it, not because the things I saw there were bothering me. I made a twitter account specifically to not have any friends and not do anything, and treat it the same way you're treating it. Same reaction: it's been a massive improvement. I wouldn't go back. Looking at that stuff from the outside now, it feels like a trap. Amazing how they can turn making you miserable, into an addictive behavior. We are apparently, as a species, more driven by panic than pleasure, and the algorithm optimizes for this.
TheRealDunkirk 5y ago
> Facebook was the biggest culprit. I unfriended anybody I didn't know in meatspace. I stopped using it because I was getting cross-ways with people I otherwise highly respected, over political comments which invited open disagreement. I didn't want to be at odds with these people, but Facebook has designed the service to facilitate this, and has engineered the degradation of personal relationships because of it. That's strike one. We all know how to avoid difficult conversations in real life, because we can feel them creeping up on us, and we change the subject. On social media, you state the whole argument, and then people feel free to do the same, and put their spin on it. For thousands of years, people have ebbed and flowed through life, met new people, and stopped seeing others. A very large part of the problem with Facebook is that it destroys this natural flow of life, and tempts you to connect with every human being you've ever said 2 words to, and then keep that connection forever. That's strike two. When you compare this situation to how humans have lived for thousands of years, it's an almost-grotesque abrogation of the natural order of things. There are relationships that SHOULD fade away, and others you should ACTIVELY eliminate once you know where they really stand. All social media platforms are designed to treat your follower number as the end-all-be-all sacred metric. I don't have a strike three. That was enough for me.
- potatolicious 5y ago
  Couldn't agree more - I still have FB but honestly time on it just makes me more agitated than happy, and I should really just get off of it completely. FB's problem is fundamental in the way that you described but I'd add a few points to it: Not only does FB artificially try to revive relationships that have run their course (and also gives all of these past relationships permanent access to your thoughts), IMO FB fundamentally misunderstands "connection" - that or they understand it fine but are utterly cynical about it. In what way is mindlessly thumbing through a high school classmate's wedding photos "connecting" people? People who you haven't spoken to in a decade or more? The primary uses of FB seem to be passively perusing the musings of people you don't care much about, which despite what FB PR insists, isn't making me care much more about them. The FB news feed is one of the least social things I can think of! It is consumed passively, nearly always by yourself, and doesn't actually create any interaction between myself and others besides simple "likes". I keep waiting for the arrival of social networks that actually meet their own lofty claims - software that actually facilitates the development of meaningful relationships.
  - TheRealDunkirk 5y ago
    > In what way is mindlessly thumbing through a high school classmate's wedding photos "connecting" people? People who you haven't spoken to in a decade or more? I'll do you one better. I deleted my account back in 2016, in the run-up to Trump's election (cause I just didn't want to hear it). Just before I did, there was a whole rash of connection requests from my high school classmates. Facebook blasted out that one person had re-connected with me, and a dozen others suddenly thought that would be a good idea too. I graduated THIRTY years ago, and hadn't spoken to ANY of the others since. Most of the requests were coming from people I wouldn't even have called friends AT THE TIME. That's just not normal, but on Facebook it is!
TylerE 5y ago
> I unfriended anybody I didn't know in meatspace I use Facebook basically the exact opposite way. I don't friend anyone I interact with on a regular basis (family, coworkers, neighbors), and use it exclusively for people I don't have another good way to keep up with - people I've met while traveling, people into the same niche hobbies, that sort of thing...

sodality2 5y ago

Reminds me of the song, "Welcome to the Internet": "Could I interest you in everything All of the time A bit of everything All of the time Apathy's a tragedy And boredom is a crime Anything and everything All of the time"

welfvh 5y ago
Excerpt from a poetry slam I did 2 years ago: What are we paying, when we're paying attention? We pay with what we could've done and what we could've learned. We pay with the people we could've met, and the conversations we could have had. We pay with every future us, that we could've been, We pay with the values we did not live by, We pay with the goals we did not reach, We pay with every opportunity to become more fully alive, that is now gone. We pay with the moments of joy that never happened, We pay with the peaceful sleep, and the refreshed feeling in the morning, that we didn't get. Because we were busy paying... attention.
- TheRealDunkirk 5y ago
  I regret that I have but one upvote to give to this comment.
handrous 5y ago
This features in Bo Burnham's latest comedy special (though with Burnham, maybe comedy belongs in scare-quotes, since his last two specials have leaned much harder on wry commentary than actual laugh-out-loud humor) produced largely on his own and filmed almost entirely in what looks to be a one-room guest house of his. It's on Netflix and I'm sure the part with that song is on YouTube somewhere (hahaha).
- sodality2 5y ago
  Yep- it's totally different from his previous work but I absolutely loved it. Especially "Welcome to the Internet", because I can see firsthand what the song is about. Here's the video on Bo Burnham's own channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1BneeJTDcU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1BneeJTDcU

welfvh 5y ago

We'll make a wall with attention poetry and this will be on it

deleted 5y ago

[deleted]