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> Queer, non-binary, autistic is a small fraction of your identity. I don't even know how to take this seriously. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt if you

> Queer, non-binary, autistic is a small fraction of your identity. I don't even know how to take this seriously. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt if you want to clarify, as it seems like you don't want to minimize the big stuff, but... this feels like that. - - - Edit: it’s entirely possible people who don’t identify with these just don’t understand how huge they are for people who do. Which is part of what I found so offputting in the article’s examples. It’s also possible I really substantively don’t understand what is “identity” to you or anyone else who thinks these are small or not aspects of identity. If that’s the case, I’m having trouble filling in the blanks. Name? Family lineage? Job title? Work history? Relationship status?

edmundsauto 5y ago
I think the central idea is to not attach identity to unimportant facets. I agree the comment as written has issues, but think the summary is good advice.
kabirgoel 5y ago
Not GP, but I think they meant big fraction and mistakenly wrote small fraction. At least that’s the only way their comment makes sense to me.
Retric 5y ago
Note the contradiction of big things and small part. Importance isn’t the same thing as taking up a large fraction of your identity. Suppose you wrote an autobiography, the big stuff like age, religion, or sexual orientation are shared with millions of people. They have huge impacts, but the details are going to be stuff like past partners not simply repeating “I am Bi” for hundreds of pages. Height is a great example, being 7’ tall, 4’, or even 5’ 10” all impact on every moment of your life. The language(s) you speak, the county you live in, having or not having every significant disease or disability. Education is another big one being a Dr. or a high school dropout again makes a huge difference but again isn’t on it’s own what separates you from everyone else.
- eyelidlessness 5y ago
  I tried to write a response to you this morning and bailed on it because this conversation has been exhausting. You’re taking important/big to you and projecting it on me. You’re insisting that the things about my identity that I consider big are small. I could almost understand if you don’t fully appreciate the impact of discovering one’s sexuality and gender feels like. But you’ve included autism as small, and that suggests either you’re really ignorant of what that entails or, like so many other “big” things you listed you just don’t see how they intersect? Either way it feels dismissive as hell. What’s small to you isn’t to me. If that doesn’t speak to identity than what does?
  - Retric 5y ago
    It’s literally small in the information compression sense. Storing the pattern of your palm print takes up more space than a listing most peoples current bank account balances. People generally care a lot more about bank accounts than palm prints, but that doesn’t mean they take up a lot of space. As such palm prints are literally a larger part of your identity than your bank account balance.
    - eyelidlessness 5y ago
      > It’s literally small in the information compression sense. How so? Your example doesn’t make this clear as I can’t relate those things to the actual parts of my identity you’re addressing. Tell me more detail about how small my queerness, NBness and neurodivergence are.
      - Retric 5y ago
        You just described your queerness in 1 word, so that’s ~20 bits of information. Having also summed up the other 2 conditions in a single world call it’s at most ~60 bits of information to describe all 3. Except not every word fits into sexual identity. If you where listing every person on earth let’s be generous and call it 10,000 options for sexual identity or ~15 bits of information.

edmundsauto 5y ago

I think the central idea is to not attach identity to unimportant facets. I agree the comment as written has issues, but think the summary is good advice.

kabirgoel 5y ago

Not GP, but I think they meant big fraction and mistakenly wrote small fraction. At least that’s the only way their comment makes sense to me.

Retric 5y ago

Note the contradiction of big things and small part. Importance isn’t the same thing as taking up a large fraction of your identity. Suppose you wrote an autobiography, the big stuff like age, religion, or sexual orientation are shared with millions of people. They have huge impacts, but the details are going to be stuff like past partners not simply repeating “I am Bi” for hundreds of pages. Height is a great example, being 7’ tall, 4’, or even 5’ 10” all impact on every moment of your life. The language(s) you speak, the county you live in, having or not having every significant disease or disability. Education is another big one being a Dr. or a high school dropout again makes a huge difference but again isn’t on it’s own what separates you from everyone else.

eyelidlessness 5y ago
I tried to write a response to you this morning and bailed on it because this conversation has been exhausting. You’re taking important/big to you and projecting it on me. You’re insisting that the things about my identity that I consider big are small. I could almost understand if you don’t fully appreciate the impact of discovering one’s sexuality and gender feels like. But you’ve included autism as small, and that suggests either you’re really ignorant of what that entails or, like so many other “big” things you listed you just don’t see how they intersect? Either way it feels dismissive as hell. What’s small to you isn’t to me. If that doesn’t speak to identity than what does?
- Retric 5y ago
  It’s literally small in the information compression sense. Storing the pattern of your palm print takes up more space than a listing most peoples current bank account balances. People generally care a lot more about bank accounts than palm prints, but that doesn’t mean they take up a lot of space. As such palm prints are literally a larger part of your identity than your bank account balance.
  - eyelidlessness 5y ago
    > It’s literally small in the information compression sense. How so? Your example doesn’t make this clear as I can’t relate those things to the actual parts of my identity you’re addressing. Tell me more detail about how small my queerness, NBness and neurodivergence are.
    - Retric 5y ago
      You just described your queerness in 1 word, so that’s ~20 bits of information. Having also summed up the other 2 conditions in a single world call it’s at most ~60 bits of information to describe all 3. Except not every word fits into sexual identity. If you where listing every person on earth let’s be generous and call it 10,000 options for sexual identity or ~15 bits of information.