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No, the books says never criticize, condemn, nor complain. People don’t seek negative feedback so that’s not the issue. And, how can you trust people who give

No, the books says never criticize, condemn, nor complain. People don’t seek negative feedback so that’s not the issue. And, how can you trust people who give you “constructive criticism” any more than people who don’t? I would argue people who criticize others usually have selfish motives for doing so eg. making themselves feel better about their own shortcomings or making other people feel and look bad.

BeetleB 5y ago
> No, the books says never criticize, condemn, nor complain. I'm not sure what you're disagreeing with. I agree with that statement. I am merely highlighting that "the book explicitly called out the case where someone is seeking negative feedback" > People don’t seek negative feedback so that’s not the issue. We live in different worlds. It's certainly not common, but it does happen. Seeking out negative feedback is standard advice that is given to people who seek self improvement. On multiple occasions someone has become upset with me because I didn't correct them. Not the norm, but plenty of people out there do want negative feedback sometimes. > And, how can you trust people who give you “constructive criticism” any more than people who don’t? This seems a bit of a non-sequitur. You do it based on the person's track record. In some ways, though, it is apt for this conversation. Just flip it around: how can you trust people who give you praise any more than people who don’t? The people I often don't trust are those who tend to find something to praise despite their disliking (praising a story he was greatly bored by, etc). People who always praise are not people you can rely on. They may make good yes-men, though. There's a reason good leaders look for subordinates who disagree with them. > I would argue people who criticize others usually have selfish motives for doing so eg. making themselves feel better about their own shortcomings or making other people feel and look bad. Or, you know, it could be simply that they were asked how they could improve.

BeetleB 5y ago

> No, the books says never criticize, condemn, nor complain. I'm not sure what you're disagreeing with. I agree with that statement. I am merely highlighting that "the book explicitly called out the case where someone is seeking negative feedback" > People don’t seek negative feedback so that’s not the issue. We live in different worlds. It's certainly not common, but it does happen. Seeking out negative feedback is standard advice that is given to people who seek self improvement. On multiple occasions someone has become upset with me because I didn't correct them. Not the norm, but plenty of people out there do want negative feedback sometimes. > And, how can you trust people who give you “constructive criticism” any more than people who don’t? This seems a bit of a non-sequitur. You do it based on the person's track record. In some ways, though, it is apt for this conversation. Just flip it around: how can you trust people who give you praise any more than people who don’t? The people I often don't trust are those who tend to find something to praise despite their disliking (praising a story he was greatly bored by, etc). People who always praise are not people you can rely on. They may make good yes-men, though. There's a reason good leaders look for subordinates who disagree with them. > I would argue people who criticize others usually have selfish motives for doing so eg. making themselves feel better about their own shortcomings or making other people feel and look bad. Or, you know, it could be simply that they were asked how they could improve.