Tolerance vs intolerance is a false dichotomy. Our actions can be viewed as points on a 2-dimensional axis between the two. Is showing discomfort with another's

Tolerance vs intolerance is a false dichotomy. Our actions can be viewed as points on a 2-dimensional axis between the two. Is showing discomfort with another's overly racist ideas tolerant or intolerant? What about asking questions about why someone made a casual offhand comment? Refusing to participate in a group blackface costume for Halloween? Are these tolerant or intolerant actions?