5 ms·

While I'm clearly not using my real name here, I'm also not hiding it generally. I'd be hard pressed to advocate for hiding as well. I wouldn't say anything wit

While I'm clearly not using my real name here, I'm also not hiding it generally. I'd be hard pressed to advocate for hiding as well. I wouldn't say anything with a pseudonym that I wouldn't say with my real name. inb4 "not everyone has that luxury!" Yes, I understand that already. Everyone has to evaluate their own risks, and decide for themselves; thanks... But that's the point I'm attempting explain. If you wont sign your name to it, why are you willing to say it at all? Where's the line between what you believe, and what you're willing to accept responsibility for believing?

ganzuul 5y ago
Are you aware that people are having their lives ruined for comments they made years ago and in good faith? Why would a name I chose for myself be worth any less than a name someone else picked?
- grayhatter 5y ago
  > Are you aware that people are having their lives ruined for comments they made years ago and in good faith? Yes. I'm going to pretend you made the comment I'm assuming you meant to. No that's not ok with me. I'm strongly opposed to taking something someone said out of context and using it as ammo for a different conversation. I'm also strongly opposed to doing anything other than assuming good faith when trying to interpret previous comments. I don't believe the solution to people who act in opposition to those ideal is hiding. > Why would a name I chose for myself be worth any less than a name someone else picked? It wouldn't, but that's not the connotation of the OP. The intent was to use a name to hide your real identity. You can choose your real identity, but that's different from hiding behind a pseudonym.
Causality1 5y ago
Because nobody wants to be punished? Sure it would be awfully noble of me to sacrifice my relationship with half my family to openly support LGBT causes or defunding the police, but I'm not that noble. If I can't do it anonymously I'm not going to do it.
- grayhatter 5y ago
  Yeah I was able to get that particular nuance. But the immorality of that is why I can't advocate others do it. I even mentioned that I have the The luxury of being able to sacrifice my relationship with my family to stand up for what I find to be morally correct. I'm also fortunate enough that I don't have to sacrifice my family relationships to stand on the side of morality. The idea I'm trying to get at is that at some point what's right is more important than what's convenient. And I'd then argue, only children are afraid of being punished for doing what's right.
  - Causality1 5y ago
    Why would children be afraid of being punished for doing what's right?
    - grayhatter 5y ago
      I guess I need to rephrase. It's the mentality of an immature child to elect not to do what they believe they should do, or want to do because of fear of punishment.
      - Causality1 5y ago
        You've never had a boss for whom you held your tongue despite knowing they were wrong because the negative consequences of you speaking outweighed the positives? Never had a significant other who was unreasonable about a particular subject and you chose to just go along with them for the good of your relationship? If so I envy you.
        grayhatter 5y ago
        No, because what you're describing isn't about hiding an identity from the public. What you're talking about is the ability to speak with tact. I disagree with my boss about a lot of things. I commonly explain why he's wrong or why I'm right. Then in the very rare cases when we still disagree, I do what he asks because he's my boss. If you can't say something you think is true about your work because you fear the repercussions. That's not normal. And a huge red flag. Ditto for my ex-SO who we've disagreed with about a few things. If you talk to someone with respect, and compassion with the goal of understanding over proving you're right. It's very easy to disagree harmoniously. But again, that's a matter of respect and tact. Not about separating who you appear to be from what you actually believe. I'm hard pressed to think of a more toxic relationship with someone you'd call your significant other than one where you have to pretend to be or pretend believe something fake just to avoid something that may be uncomfortable. If you're speaking from experience; I don't envy you. That sounds like a horrible way to live your life. Avoiding conversations because of fear of conversations that require tact. If that really is you, you have a lot of learning about how to have conversations to make up for.

ganzuul 5y ago

Are you aware that people are having their lives ruined for comments they made years ago and in good faith? Why would a name I chose for myself be worth any less than a name someone else picked?

grayhatter 5y ago
> Are you aware that people are having their lives ruined for comments they made years ago and in good faith? Yes. I'm going to pretend you made the comment I'm assuming you meant to. No that's not ok with me. I'm strongly opposed to taking something someone said out of context and using it as ammo for a different conversation. I'm also strongly opposed to doing anything other than assuming good faith when trying to interpret previous comments. I don't believe the solution to people who act in opposition to those ideal is hiding. > Why would a name I chose for myself be worth any less than a name someone else picked? It wouldn't, but that's not the connotation of the OP. The intent was to use a name to hide your real identity. You can choose your real identity, but that's different from hiding behind a pseudonym.

Causality1 5y ago

Because nobody wants to be punished? Sure it would be awfully noble of me to sacrifice my relationship with half my family to openly support LGBT causes or defunding the police, but I'm not that noble. If I can't do it anonymously I'm not going to do it.

grayhatter 5y ago
Yeah I was able to get that particular nuance. But the immorality of that is why I can't advocate others do it. I even mentioned that I have the The luxury of being able to sacrifice my relationship with my family to stand up for what I find to be morally correct. I'm also fortunate enough that I don't have to sacrifice my family relationships to stand on the side of morality. The idea I'm trying to get at is that at some point what's right is more important than what's convenient. And I'd then argue, only children are afraid of being punished for doing what's right.
- Causality1 5y ago
  Why would children be afraid of being punished for doing what's right?
  - grayhatter 5y ago
    I guess I need to rephrase. It's the mentality of an immature child to elect not to do what they believe they should do, or want to do because of fear of punishment.
    - Causality1 5y ago
      You've never had a boss for whom you held your tongue despite knowing they were wrong because the negative consequences of you speaking outweighed the positives? Never had a significant other who was unreasonable about a particular subject and you chose to just go along with them for the good of your relationship? If so I envy you.
      - grayhatter 5y ago
        No, because what you're describing isn't about hiding an identity from the public. What you're talking about is the ability to speak with tact. I disagree with my boss about a lot of things. I commonly explain why he's wrong or why I'm right. Then in the very rare cases when we still disagree, I do what he asks because he's my boss. If you can't say something you think is true about your work because you fear the repercussions. That's not normal. And a huge red flag. Ditto for my ex-SO who we've disagreed with about a few things. If you talk to someone with respect, and compassion with the goal of understanding over proving you're right. It's very easy to disagree harmoniously. But again, that's a matter of respect and tact. Not about separating who you appear to be from what you actually believe. I'm hard pressed to think of a more toxic relationship with someone you'd call your significant other than one where you have to pretend to be or pretend believe something fake just to avoid something that may be uncomfortable. If you're speaking from experience; I don't envy you. That sounds like a horrible way to live your life. Avoiding conversations because of fear of conversations that require tact. If that really is you, you have a lot of learning about how to have conversations to make up for.