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> Their lived experience, whether perceived or by proxy, is that women hated them first. How do we define "hate" here? There are incels who literally claim tha

> Their lived experience, whether perceived or by proxy, is that women hated them first. How do we define "hate" here? There are incels who literally claim that they are entitled to sex with virginal women who are also extremely conventionally attractive. Does it rise to the level of hate when they are rejected by such women? There have also been incels who have gone on killing sprees and murdered multiple women -- and those killers have then been celebrated by other incels. It is a false equivalence to say, "They hated me, which made me hate them." I know of no cases where women have created a community where they encouraged each other to kill incels and then made heroes of them after the fact. This behavior is specific to incel culture.

jcims 5y ago
>How do we define "hate" here? This is a question we should all ask when the term is used. It's a pet peeve of mine when people throw an unqualified 'hate' around and here I am doing the same thing. Hormones are an extremely powerful, relentless motivator. It requires an equally profound level of rejection to override that signal. When a young person finally admits 'defeat' in seeking a relationship and then sees the person they are interested in select someone that's a polar opposite of them instead, it doesn't just feel like they are being rejected in the instance, but categorically rejected. It's not that 'she doesn't want anything to do with me', it's 'she doesn't want anything to do with anyone like me'. When this happens once, their ego can stomp on that feeling, but when it happens over and over it becomes something broadly categorical in and of itself. That's the feeling I'm referring to as 'hate'. Everything you mention past that is, in my opinion, just applied extremism. If you'll pardon my language, unfuckable guys have existed forever. What's new is the cohort that the Internet in general and social media in particular enable. The basement edgelord not settling for anything less than a perfect 10 is the sexual equivalent of 'diamond hands' in /r/wallstreetbets. It's a signal of tribal allegiance and propped up by selection bias. As far as why there isn't a symmetry between the sexes, there are lots of theories...would love to see some research.

jcims 5y ago

>How do we define "hate" here? This is a question we should all ask when the term is used. It's a pet peeve of mine when people throw an unqualified 'hate' around and here I am doing the same thing. Hormones are an extremely powerful, relentless motivator. It requires an equally profound level of rejection to override that signal. When a young person finally admits 'defeat' in seeking a relationship and then sees the person they are interested in select someone that's a polar opposite of them instead, it doesn't just feel like they are being rejected in the instance, but categorically rejected. It's not that 'she doesn't want anything to do with me', it's 'she doesn't want anything to do with anyone like me'. When this happens once, their ego can stomp on that feeling, but when it happens over and over it becomes something broadly categorical in and of itself. That's the feeling I'm referring to as 'hate'. Everything you mention past that is, in my opinion, just applied extremism. If you'll pardon my language, unfuckable guys have existed forever. What's new is the cohort that the Internet in general and social media in particular enable. The basement edgelord not settling for anything less than a perfect 10 is the sexual equivalent of 'diamond hands' in /r/wallstreetbets. It's a signal of tribal allegiance and propped up by selection bias. As far as why there isn't a symmetry between the sexes, there are lots of theories...would love to see some research.