4 ms·

That is true. What frustrated me is that the social/cultural set up only seemed to amplify it, rather than counteract it to balance things out. For example, in

That is true. What frustrated me is that the social/cultural set up only seemed to amplify it, rather than counteract it to balance things out. For example, in fresher's week, 'default' organized activities were clubbing every night of the week. Sports achievements were celebrated with ceremonies, pub parties, chalk drawings on the walls of the college, publications in the magazines. There is nothing wrong with any of those activities, as has been mentioned that is just what some loud teenagers getting a taste of freedom like to do. But you would expect a top academic institution encouraging other tendencies to even out the social 'hierarchy' a bit. The very fact that 'you might not have noticed the studious ones' who were 'hiding away in their rooms' is the problem when it is happening at the top academic institution in my view.

mattmanser 5y ago
Freshers weeks for all UK universities are like that. And most teenagers are fine with that, rich or poor. It's an easy ice breaker. I don't know how you managed to miss this during your university career, but there are absolutely tons of clubs in every university. Sports, political, hobbies, music, etc. Nothing to do with drinking, apart from maybe a once or twice yearly optional social night. There are 400 clubs registered at the OU student's union: https://www.ox.ac.uk/students/life/clubs https://www.ox.ac.uk/students/life/clubs Including compsoc, which would have been a way to meet your fellow CS grads: https://ox.compsoc.net/ https://ox.compsoc.net/ And a competitive computer security club: https://www.ox002147.com/ https://www.ox002147.com/ And they're just the ones I found by searching computer. You could've packed your calender with different activities meeting new people every night and never have felt the need to drink a single drop.
- agent008t 5y ago
  Clubs and societies tend to be too... organized, specific, serious? If you are Feynman, do you join the bongo drum society? I mean you play them, but you're just having fun, joining a society for bongo drum players seems like an overkill. Do you join the lockpicking society? If you enjoy playing backgammon every now and then, do you join the backgammon society? If you are interested in hacking software for fun, do you join a competitive computer security club? After all, you are not interested in these things narrowly and specifically. You just would like to hang out with like-minded people that like to have fun in these sorts of ways. In these societies, you mostly end up with some specific 'serious' activities (e.g. a talk, a lecture, a discussion, or something competitive). And social engagement then happens separately, usually at a social in a pub, also as a 'targeted' activity. It is a good way to get more serious about your interests, but does not seem like a natural way to make friends.

mattmanser 5y ago

Freshers weeks for all UK universities are like that. And most teenagers are fine with that, rich or poor. It's an easy ice breaker. I don't know how you managed to miss this during your university career, but there are absolutely tons of clubs in every university. Sports, political, hobbies, music, etc. Nothing to do with drinking, apart from maybe a once or twice yearly optional social night. There are 400 clubs registered at the OU student's union: https://www.ox.ac.uk/students/life/clubs https://www.ox.ac.uk/students/life/clubs Including compsoc, which would have been a way to meet your fellow CS grads: https://ox.compsoc.net/ https://ox.compsoc.net/ And a competitive computer security club: https://www.ox002147.com/ https://www.ox002147.com/ And they're just the ones I found by searching computer. You could've packed your calender with different activities meeting new people every night and never have felt the need to drink a single drop.

agent008t 5y ago
Clubs and societies tend to be too... organized, specific, serious? If you are Feynman, do you join the bongo drum society? I mean you play them, but you're just having fun, joining a society for bongo drum players seems like an overkill. Do you join the lockpicking society? If you enjoy playing backgammon every now and then, do you join the backgammon society? If you are interested in hacking software for fun, do you join a competitive computer security club? After all, you are not interested in these things narrowly and specifically. You just would like to hang out with like-minded people that like to have fun in these sorts of ways. In these societies, you mostly end up with some specific 'serious' activities (e.g. a talk, a lecture, a discussion, or something competitive). And social engagement then happens separately, usually at a social in a pub, also as a 'targeted' activity. It is a good way to get more serious about your interests, but does not seem like a natural way to make friends.