5 ms·

I am acquainted with a disproportionate number of Oxbridge grads, mainly through my old school, which has always targeted those universities for its boys. Whil

by vr46 5y ago

I am acquainted with a disproportionate number of Oxbridge grads, mainly through my old school, which has always targeted those universities for its boys. While everyone is smart and pleasant, there is the constant reinforcement that Oxbridge grads seek each other out throughout their lives to almost exclusively hang out with each other. I mean, as towns they're not exactly next door, but in London there is the joint Oxford and Cambridge club on Pall Mall so they can carry on as they were. They're often hopelessly insular in this regard and I have never quite understood it. Why your university would provide such a strong identity for yourself all your life, I don't get.

hellbannedguy 5y ago
Actually, for what most colleges charge, they should provide free clubs for alumni? Although, the thought of my pompous college mates is not a memory I want to think about today though. I went to a state school. I honestly thought my local community college did a much better job, but graduated anyways. I went to a professional school, and kinda thought the same--a whole lot of wasted time. I will never forget our last party though. Everyone graduated with their degree. We were at this party, and the atmosphere was different. I couldn't figure it out until years later though. My date that night was a stunning, innocent, affable, young lady. I recall guys at the party making a bee line to her. The ladies at the party gave me the look. A acquaintance came up to me, and said, "She's very young Danielll?". She was 20? Anyway, everyone kinda of changed. They talked different. They talked like they did something wonderful by graduating. They were posing, instead of standing? The biggest poser had a job at Open Space. He thought he hit the lottery. That night he should have worn an ascot. Never talked to him again. I remember thinking this is it? Well it's better than working full time. Hiding in school was something I adored, but knew I was no different than anyone else. In all reality, I felt guilty. The worse day in school was better than any day at my part time jobs. The four years were fun. On the way home, Michelle said, "I've never felt so weird at a party." I had no idea what she was getting at other than being the worst party I have been to. She then said she felt like she didn't fit in. I told her, "I don't fit in with those people. College was a joke for the most part." I couldn't believe the way people changed. I had a steady girlfriend who went to UCD. She was a different person upon graduating. Just so full of herself? I wasn't the greatest boyfriend either, by dating someone else, but I was young, and we both knew our relationship was baked years earlier. End of story, but reminded of my young pompous classmates upon graduation. Would I go to a alumni club after graduation--hell no, but colleges should provide them. I am a wacko, and despised networking, and schmoozing, but my classmates would be at the club. It would be a great selling point for colleges too? (I had a premed/business education from a state school. I guess it's a lot different than going to an Ivy League school? I honestly remember eight classes maybe, that I felt were worth the time. My rambling post is about the obnoxious levels of self accomplishment so many young grads have.)
- matthewowen 5y ago
  Oxford and Cambridge don’t charge any more than other universities in the UK, and the Oxford and Cambridge club is a private members club that isn’t meaningfully affiliated to either institution.
greycol 5y ago
But it will only be a few of them that view it as an identity. For them it'll be a chance to talk with people from different walks of life such as bankers, lawyers, doctors, artists, entrepreneurs, business owners, or COs. Since so many have wide breadths of opportunity they'll be able to talk to people who have had novel experiences from themselves. I mean the default experience seems to be a sheltered(maybe insular is a better word?[1]) one, but I can't say I'm not similar in my own social circle. I haven't purposefully gone out of my way to mingle with people in other groups outside of my normal social circle except at work/hobbies/sports and really only talk to those I already know at Friday drinks. [1] Really I'm kind of looking for a word to express diverse sameness. Something you'd use to express "European countries are all the same except of course each is a unique culture". Maybe talking about untraveled Americans(US) except a word to contrast one who only lived in their rural town vs one who worked and lived from New Orleans, to Detroit, to New York, to Nebraska, to Hawaii and Alaska while not having left the US.
simonh 5y ago
I'm friends with a gang of three Oxford graduates, who met each other there in the 80s. I know them through mutual interests and like minded mutual friends. They're just part of the gang, get on with everyone regardless of background. What you do notice though, is they absolutely know how to work their asses off. They're constantly organising things, writing stuff, offering to edit and help develop other people's work, coming up with new ideas and sharing them. They know how to dig deep into a topic and root out the interesting, fun and unexpected, and do something with it. There are other people in the community who are much the same, it's a very collaborative community. It's not that they're the only people who stand out, but they're right up there.
- vr46 5y ago
  I hear you and it’s like this with my school alumni too, but I don’t think that the school and university can take too much credit for this, all these boys (and I went to a boys’ school, if that wasn’t clear) were very much like this at 11 or 13, education just refined and channeled them. This is why I find the self-selecting group quite odd, as membership is only one indicator of common ground.
  - simonh 5y ago
    Oh sure, to a large extent top selective schools have great results because they select the best pupils to start with. The question is are they adding the best value; are they the best environment for students that talented to go to. I would hope so, but I suppose it depends what the student wants out of it.
    - vr46 5y ago
      This is very much a given - start with the best and success is pretty much guaranteed. I am not sure many kids even know the difference between two schools, I certainly had no clue. Perhaps the costs these days - unaffordable - are making students more clued-up?

by vr46 5y ago

hellbannedguy 5y ago

Actually, for what most colleges charge, they should provide free clubs for alumni? Although, the thought of my pompous college mates is not a memory I want to think about today though. I went to a state school. I honestly thought my local community college did a much better job, but graduated anyways. I went to a professional school, and kinda thought the same--a whole lot of wasted time. I will never forget our last party though. Everyone graduated with their degree. We were at this party, and the atmosphere was different. I couldn't figure it out until years later though. My date that night was a stunning, innocent, affable, young lady. I recall guys at the party making a bee line to her. The ladies at the party gave me the look. A acquaintance came up to me, and said, "She's very young Danielll?". She was 20? Anyway, everyone kinda of changed. They talked different. They talked like they did something wonderful by graduating. They were posing, instead of standing? The biggest poser had a job at Open Space. He thought he hit the lottery. That night he should have worn an ascot. Never talked to him again. I remember thinking this is it? Well it's better than working full time. Hiding in school was something I adored, but knew I was no different than anyone else. In all reality, I felt guilty. The worse day in school was better than any day at my part time jobs. The four years were fun. On the way home, Michelle said, "I've never felt so weird at a party." I had no idea what she was getting at other than being the worst party I have been to. She then said she felt like she didn't fit in. I told her, "I don't fit in with those people. College was a joke for the most part." I couldn't believe the way people changed. I had a steady girlfriend who went to UCD. She was a different person upon graduating. Just so full of herself? I wasn't the greatest boyfriend either, by dating someone else, but I was young, and we both knew our relationship was baked years earlier. End of story, but reminded of my young pompous classmates upon graduation. Would I go to a alumni club after graduation--hell no, but colleges should provide them. I am a wacko, and despised networking, and schmoozing, but my classmates would be at the club. It would be a great selling point for colleges too? (I had a premed/business education from a state school. I guess it's a lot different than going to an Ivy League school? I honestly remember eight classes maybe, that I felt were worth the time. My rambling post is about the obnoxious levels of self accomplishment so many young grads have.)

matthewowen 5y ago
Oxford and Cambridge don’t charge any more than other universities in the UK, and the Oxford and Cambridge club is a private members club that isn’t meaningfully affiliated to either institution.

greycol 5y ago

But it will only be a few of them that view it as an identity. For them it'll be a chance to talk with people from different walks of life such as bankers, lawyers, doctors, artists, entrepreneurs, business owners, or COs. Since so many have wide breadths of opportunity they'll be able to talk to people who have had novel experiences from themselves. I mean the default experience seems to be a sheltered(maybe insular is a better word?[1]) one, but I can't say I'm not similar in my own social circle. I haven't purposefully gone out of my way to mingle with people in other groups outside of my normal social circle except at work/hobbies/sports and really only talk to those I already know at Friday drinks. [1] Really I'm kind of looking for a word to express diverse sameness. Something you'd use to express "European countries are all the same except of course each is a unique culture". Maybe talking about untraveled Americans(US) except a word to contrast one who only lived in their rural town vs one who worked and lived from New Orleans, to Detroit, to New York, to Nebraska, to Hawaii and Alaska while not having left the US.

simonh 5y ago

I'm friends with a gang of three Oxford graduates, who met each other there in the 80s. I know them through mutual interests and like minded mutual friends. They're just part of the gang, get on with everyone regardless of background. What you do notice though, is they absolutely know how to work their asses off. They're constantly organising things, writing stuff, offering to edit and help develop other people's work, coming up with new ideas and sharing them. They know how to dig deep into a topic and root out the interesting, fun and unexpected, and do something with it. There are other people in the community who are much the same, it's a very collaborative community. It's not that they're the only people who stand out, but they're right up there.

vr46 5y ago
I hear you and it’s like this with my school alumni too, but I don’t think that the school and university can take too much credit for this, all these boys (and I went to a boys’ school, if that wasn’t clear) were very much like this at 11 or 13, education just refined and channeled them. This is why I find the self-selecting group quite odd, as membership is only one indicator of common ground.
- simonh 5y ago
  Oh sure, to a large extent top selective schools have great results because they select the best pupils to start with. The question is are they adding the best value; are they the best environment for students that talented to go to. I would hope so, but I suppose it depends what the student wants out of it.
  - vr46 5y ago
    This is very much a given - start with the best and success is pretty much guaranteed. I am not sure many kids even know the difference between two schools, I certainly had no clue. Perhaps the costs these days - unaffordable - are making students more clued-up?