My be it would seem somewhat irrational to you at first but I think the only chance to 'cope' with it yo get when you understand that there is absolutely no way

My be it would seem somewhat irrational to you at first but I think the only chance to 'cope' with it yo get when you understand that there is absolutely no way to 'cope' with it and you should not even try to 'cope' with it. Once you accept that .. only then after some time there is a slight chance to get to a place which would be called by other people around 'coping with it'. Try to redirect your love for him to people he deeply cared about. Perhaps they miss him and his care too and you can partly fullfill this void and make it a bit easier for them. I think you were one of those he cared about so please do not forget about yourself too.