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I lost my father at age 10 because of a brain tumor. I lost my mother at age 25 due to breast cancer. I'm now aged 27 and lost my brother last month due to alco

I lost my father at age 10 because of a brain tumor. I lost my mother at age 25 due to breast cancer. I'm now aged 27 and lost my brother last month due to alcoholism. It's very sad and recently I cry regularly. Don't be afraid of crying, it's good for the soul. Before my mom passed she said she just wants me to live my life. Do things that make me happy because before you know it life is over. She said: of course you will be sad in the beginning but don't let it control/ruin your life (like it did with my brother, alcoholism), live your life! Do all the things you want to do and don't wait to do it "someday". That memory really helped me a lot with the grieving process and made me realize that life is for the living, let the dead be dead. I also educated my mom a bit because we never said "I love you" so one day I told her, let's say it! And get over this awkwardness. Since that time (she was already sick) we said it occasionally and I'm very glad we did that. I told her as kids we need to hear these things :)) . That taught me that as kids it's oké to tell your parents your needs. Parents aren't perfect and the're trying their best. So how do I cope? In my experience the people that are dying are usually afraid that their death will mess up their loved one's lifes permanently and that they are "responsible" for it. So just live life man. That's the greatest thing you can do to honor the ones that have passed. Sometimes you feel like a zombie, sometimes you feel like nothing changed. It's all part of the experience we call life. We are just getting to know more about life and all the sadness and happiness it has to offer.

adgulacti 5y ago
sorry for your losses, and thank you sincerely (as much as possible in a platform like this) from the bottom of my heart. I didn't go through the scale of grief as you've done, sorry for acting selfish and wanting to share some of my stuff. I went through a divorce and now having a similar "i love you" challenge with the woman in my life. she thinks it is a really big thing and holds her back, so I'm stressed and am also trying to hold myself. but it's just three words and also almost all love dies, like all people. I'm also kind of a crying person, it helps me a lot but people treat it as kind of a weakness. I simply don't get the ways of the modern world more and more, and I feel old. but I don't think I will try to change myself. not in this sense at least.
throwawayboise 5y ago
> Do things that make me happy because before you know it life is over. This is really true, as I've grown older the years go by in what used to feel like months. By averages I've got maybe 25 years left and I'm realizing it will be gone before I know it. Time passes, whether you do anything with it or not.

adgulacti 5y ago

sorry for your losses, and thank you sincerely (as much as possible in a platform like this) from the bottom of my heart. I didn't go through the scale of grief as you've done, sorry for acting selfish and wanting to share some of my stuff. I went through a divorce and now having a similar "i love you" challenge with the woman in my life. she thinks it is a really big thing and holds her back, so I'm stressed and am also trying to hold myself. but it's just three words and also almost all love dies, like all people. I'm also kind of a crying person, it helps me a lot but people treat it as kind of a weakness. I simply don't get the ways of the modern world more and more, and I feel old. but I don't think I will try to change myself. not in this sense at least.

throwawayboise 5y ago

> Do things that make me happy because before you know it life is over. This is really true, as I've grown older the years go by in what used to feel like months. By averages I've got maybe 25 years left and I'm realizing it will be gone before I know it. Time passes, whether you do anything with it or not.