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Don’t worry. You’ll never forget that feeling of showing up at the airport with all of (what’s left of) your possessions. My wife and I did that ten years ago

Don’t worry. You’ll never forget that feeling of showing up at the airport with all of (what’s left of) your possessions. My wife and I did that ten years ago. I remember those final hours in San Francisco and SFO as crisply as the birth of a child. Emigrating is one of those adulting on steroids things. For those who’ve never done it, there no way to describe how intense it is: the highs, the lows, etc. Doesn’t matter if you are fluent in the destination language; it just is.

culturestate 5y ago
> Emigrating is one of those adulting on steroids things. For those who’ve never done it, there no way to describe how intense it is: the highs, the lows, etc. For a long time I’ve wondered if something inside me is wired incorrectly, because I always hear this sentiment among my friends but I have never felt it. Not on the first move from the US to China a decade ago, not on the last one from Hong Kong to Singapore a couple of years ago, and not right now as I think about going to Europe. It just has never struck me as a particularly big thing to move somewhere else.
- Roritharr 5y ago
  It's a deeply personal thing. I'm contemplating moving the family to another country and the biggest emotions I feel are connected to the financial freedom necessary to move. I grew up in a low-income household, my grades weren't amazing, never got a stipend to study anywhere or go abroad, so being able to make this jump as a result of my own personal development is huge. Luggage or not is beside the point for me though.
  - culturestate 5y ago
    > being able to make this jump as a result of my own personal development is huge. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean here - I got the same "I made this happen" feeling when I boarded that first plane. The part that I can't easily empathize with is the idea that leaving home and going somewhere else represents some kind of cosmic upheaval of your life. I get it, academically, but I just can't put myself in that headspace. To give an example, one of my friends back home is going through a quarter-life career crisis. For a variety of reasons I suggested that he take a couple of months off and spend it in Amsterdam - this wouldn't be any problem for him financially or harm his career progression, but it's just a bridge too far for him personally. When I brought it up, he said "I wouldn't even know where to start." What seems natural to me - grab your passport, book an AirBnB and a plane ticket - is for many people an emotionally overwhelming roadblock.
    - piva00 5y ago
      I think I do relate a little to you and also a lot more to the parent comment. I've managed to emigrate due to my own personal development as well, my family didn't have the means for that and my home country's society is very geared to rich folks getting opportunities: in school, universities, time enough to go through a good higher education, etc. I had to fight against all that and other odds stacked against me and finally "made it" out. At the same time I felt like you sometimes, people would be fretting a lot about how I'm going to move, all by myself, to a new country, continent, hemisphere, culture and language. And it never phased me, I knew I wanted to do it and the thought that someone would be even a little reluctant on doing it was a bit alien. Nowadays I can empathise with both mindsets, I'm a bit stuck in the middle: moving out was definitely an amazing and enlightening experience over time but I didn't have that awe about it until hindsight kicked in. Most of the feelings I had when moving were all about excitement and getting to experience new things, people, places. I share the feeling when boarding the plane for moving and thinking "I made this happen" but I feel it much more intensely and beautifully during moments in my new city (that I've been for about 6 years now) where I look around and realise "I'm here and it's surreal I've made it here". This is the feeling I love the most, and it's constant, since I moved I never stopped catching these moments.
    - ghaff 5y ago
      I suppose it depends for how long. I do own a house and moved around a bit when I was younger. But I fairly routinely travel for 3 or 4 weeks and, while a couple months would be unusual for me, it wouldn't be anything remarkable and, work-wise, spending some of that time working from Europe wouldn't be an issue other than working some later hours.
    - PaulDavisThe1st 5y ago
      > What seems natural to me - grab your passport, book an AirBnB and a plane ticket - is for many people an emotionally overwhelming roadblock. I too find those 3 steps are pretty easy. The problem is that what comes next - "step out of AirBnB and go to a local restaurant" - is total mindkiller for me.
      - 5y ago
- refurb 5y ago
  I’m the same way. Big international moves were never that big of a thing. Why? Because you can always move back, either a week later or a decade later. It’s not a permanent change.
  - baby 5y ago
    That is, until you realize it is becoming permanent…
  - PaulDavisThe1st 5y ago
    I remember reading some research that suggested that for every year you were "away" from a place that had been home, it would take about a month to adjust when/if you moved back. This accumulated additively up to about 9 years, at which point, "home" would never feel the same again. So in that sense, it can be a "permanent" change. I've also found those numbers roughly accurate, even for sub-year extended travel. I spent 6 months teaching in Berlin, and it definitely took a couple of weeks after returning to feel normal again.
- sangnoir 5y ago
  Did your family move around a lot as you were growing up? Anecdotally (sample size=2), people who lived in one home from birth to adulthood tend to be more "rooted" and more anxious about moving compared to "military brats" or others who moved a lot, who, when asked "What's your home town?" answer "It depends on what you mean by 'Home town'...".
  - culturestate 5y ago
    Nope, I had a very stable home life and most of my family is firmly rooted (albeit in a few different places). I’ve just always had this restless part inside that wanted to get out into the world and was never particularly concerned with the concept of home.
- rriepe 5y ago
  This type of lack of feeling of belonging (over things like race, nation and community) can manifest in schizoid personality disorder.
dolmen 5y ago
You can also have this experience on a smaller scale without selling anything forever. Ten years ago I did a 3 months backpack trip in South America with my girlfriend. We left almost everything at home, and during that trip all that mattered to us for the 3 months was in our backpack. Weight and volume was an issue. No room to bring objects unless they has a functional value too. We also experienced stuff being stolen (one camera with the digital pictures, one small bag) and this helps to think about your relationship to objects. That's the kind of life lessons that I did not expect from the trip.
- dematz 5y ago
  I'd imagine you also got very good at the knapsack problem
carlmr 5y ago
I did this twice before, moving to Canada and then moving back to Europe. However now I've accumulated so much stuff it's hard for me to repeat that.

culturestate 5y ago

> Emigrating is one of those adulting on steroids things. For those who’ve never done it, there no way to describe how intense it is: the highs, the lows, etc. For a long time I’ve wondered if something inside me is wired incorrectly, because I always hear this sentiment among my friends but I have never felt it. Not on the first move from the US to China a decade ago, not on the last one from Hong Kong to Singapore a couple of years ago, and not right now as I think about going to Europe. It just has never struck me as a particularly big thing to move somewhere else.

Roritharr 5y ago
It's a deeply personal thing. I'm contemplating moving the family to another country and the biggest emotions I feel are connected to the financial freedom necessary to move. I grew up in a low-income household, my grades weren't amazing, never got a stipend to study anywhere or go abroad, so being able to make this jump as a result of my own personal development is huge. Luggage or not is beside the point for me though.
- culturestate 5y ago
  > being able to make this jump as a result of my own personal development is huge. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean here - I got the same "I made this happen" feeling when I boarded that first plane. The part that I can't easily empathize with is the idea that leaving home and going somewhere else represents some kind of cosmic upheaval of your life. I get it, academically, but I just can't put myself in that headspace. To give an example, one of my friends back home is going through a quarter-life career crisis. For a variety of reasons I suggested that he take a couple of months off and spend it in Amsterdam - this wouldn't be any problem for him financially or harm his career progression, but it's just a bridge too far for him personally. When I brought it up, he said "I wouldn't even know where to start." What seems natural to me - grab your passport, book an AirBnB and a plane ticket - is for many people an emotionally overwhelming roadblock.
  - piva00 5y ago
    I think I do relate a little to you and also a lot more to the parent comment. I've managed to emigrate due to my own personal development as well, my family didn't have the means for that and my home country's society is very geared to rich folks getting opportunities: in school, universities, time enough to go through a good higher education, etc. I had to fight against all that and other odds stacked against me and finally "made it" out. At the same time I felt like you sometimes, people would be fretting a lot about how I'm going to move, all by myself, to a new country, continent, hemisphere, culture and language. And it never phased me, I knew I wanted to do it and the thought that someone would be even a little reluctant on doing it was a bit alien. Nowadays I can empathise with both mindsets, I'm a bit stuck in the middle: moving out was definitely an amazing and enlightening experience over time but I didn't have that awe about it until hindsight kicked in. Most of the feelings I had when moving were all about excitement and getting to experience new things, people, places. I share the feeling when boarding the plane for moving and thinking "I made this happen" but I feel it much more intensely and beautifully during moments in my new city (that I've been for about 6 years now) where I look around and realise "I'm here and it's surreal I've made it here". This is the feeling I love the most, and it's constant, since I moved I never stopped catching these moments.
  - ghaff 5y ago
    I suppose it depends for how long. I do own a house and moved around a bit when I was younger. But I fairly routinely travel for 3 or 4 weeks and, while a couple months would be unusual for me, it wouldn't be anything remarkable and, work-wise, spending some of that time working from Europe wouldn't be an issue other than working some later hours.
  - PaulDavisThe1st 5y ago
    > What seems natural to me - grab your passport, book an AirBnB and a plane ticket - is for many people an emotionally overwhelming roadblock. I too find those 3 steps are pretty easy. The problem is that what comes next - "step out of AirBnB and go to a local restaurant" - is total mindkiller for me.
    - 5y ago
refurb 5y ago
I’m the same way. Big international moves were never that big of a thing. Why? Because you can always move back, either a week later or a decade later. It’s not a permanent change.
- baby 5y ago
  That is, until you realize it is becoming permanent…
- PaulDavisThe1st 5y ago
  I remember reading some research that suggested that for every year you were "away" from a place that had been home, it would take about a month to adjust when/if you moved back. This accumulated additively up to about 9 years, at which point, "home" would never feel the same again. So in that sense, it can be a "permanent" change. I've also found those numbers roughly accurate, even for sub-year extended travel. I spent 6 months teaching in Berlin, and it definitely took a couple of weeks after returning to feel normal again.
sangnoir 5y ago
Did your family move around a lot as you were growing up? Anecdotally (sample size=2), people who lived in one home from birth to adulthood tend to be more "rooted" and more anxious about moving compared to "military brats" or others who moved a lot, who, when asked "What's your home town?" answer "It depends on what you mean by 'Home town'...".
- culturestate 5y ago
  Nope, I had a very stable home life and most of my family is firmly rooted (albeit in a few different places). I’ve just always had this restless part inside that wanted to get out into the world and was never particularly concerned with the concept of home.
rriepe 5y ago
This type of lack of feeling of belonging (over things like race, nation and community) can manifest in schizoid personality disorder.

dolmen 5y ago

You can also have this experience on a smaller scale without selling anything forever. Ten years ago I did a 3 months backpack trip in South America with my girlfriend. We left almost everything at home, and during that trip all that mattered to us for the 3 months was in our backpack. Weight and volume was an issue. No room to bring objects unless they has a functional value too. We also experienced stuff being stolen (one camera with the digital pictures, one small bag) and this helps to think about your relationship to objects. That's the kind of life lessons that I did not expect from the trip.

dematz 5y ago
I'd imagine you also got very good at the knapsack problem

carlmr 5y ago

I did this twice before, moving to Canada and then moving back to Europe. However now I've accumulated so much stuff it's hard for me to repeat that.