Feels like a staccato of names. Werner, Hans, Bauer, Lange and others all over the place. "Hans helped Werner carry Bauer" caught my eye and most sentences star

Feels like a staccato of names. Werner, Hans, Bauer, Lange and others all over the place. "Hans helped Werner carry Bauer" caught my eye and most sentences start with a name. Of course it was dark and foggy as well. Lots of adjectives I wouldn't miss if they'd be gone (complete silence, absolute blackness). Also felt no sense of direction or what these guys were even up to. That is easy critique from a reader. My writing covers e-mails and stuff.