4 ms·

Why does everything have to be a swing between extremes? Why does everything have to be a bitter war? Why can't people just let other people live their lives, a

Why does everything have to be a swing between extremes? Why does everything have to be a bitter war? Why can't people just let other people live their lives, as long as they're not hurting anyone? Clearly there's a lot of value in plain old traditional marriage, being a housewife, being a husband, supporting your kids etc. We likely can't have a civilization unless a certain percentage of people are doing this, and certainly not a very healthy one. But that doesn't mean EVERYONE needs to be forced into it, anymore than EVERYONE needing to be forced into being single, career-focused and sleeping around. If some people want to live wild and carefree, let them without calling them trash. If others want to give up a career to raise kids, let them, without calling them fools and an insult to their gender. Different people require different lifestyles. If we run short on the family types (as we may be doing), incentivize that lifestyle a bit. I hear Japan actually pays people (a little) to have kids. But otherwise, just leave people alone.

alecbz 5y ago
Because we're social for a lot of this kind of stuff it does sort of matter that other people are going in the same direction. Angry or condescending judgement is bad, but I don't think advocating for doing things one way over another is.
ttt0 5y ago
> If we run short on the family types (as we may be doing), incentivize that lifestyle a bit. I hear Japan actually pays people (a little) to have kids. It's not that unusual in the West either, it's just most often done by giving tax breaks to married couples. You probably won't be able to incentivize this kind of lifestyle any time soon, because people will scream discrimination if you tried to, just like they did about the marriage.
throwawaysea 5y ago
I agree with your sentiment - there is value in both sides and the freedom to choose at the individual level is great. The swing between extremes is because of the abuse of power that accompanies each cultural or political period. The article touches on this: > ‘Voicing any of this stuff openly is just social suicide,’ he says. So much so, in fact, that ‘Narayan’ is a pseudonym: there’s simply no way he can afford to be quoted about this under his real name without risking social censure or even repercussions at work. When people cannot share their opinions freely, and cannot do so without an extensive impact across their life (for example on work), then only the ideas in power can circulate. That happens until things reach a boiling point - motivating a swing towards other extremes.

alecbz 5y ago

Because we're social for a lot of this kind of stuff it does sort of matter that other people are going in the same direction. Angry or condescending judgement is bad, but I don't think advocating for doing things one way over another is.

ttt0 5y ago

> If we run short on the family types (as we may be doing), incentivize that lifestyle a bit. I hear Japan actually pays people (a little) to have kids. It's not that unusual in the West either, it's just most often done by giving tax breaks to married couples. You probably won't be able to incentivize this kind of lifestyle any time soon, because people will scream discrimination if you tried to, just like they did about the marriage.

throwawaysea 5y ago

I agree with your sentiment - there is value in both sides and the freedom to choose at the individual level is great. The swing between extremes is because of the abuse of power that accompanies each cultural or political period. The article touches on this: > ‘Voicing any of this stuff openly is just social suicide,’ he says. So much so, in fact, that ‘Narayan’ is a pseudonym: there’s simply no way he can afford to be quoted about this under his real name without risking social censure or even repercussions at work. When people cannot share their opinions freely, and cannot do so without an extensive impact across their life (for example on work), then only the ideas in power can circulate. That happens until things reach a boiling point - motivating a swing towards other extremes.